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Parenting Through and After A Divorce

Written by Susan L. Woodard

Topic: Relationship AdvicePublished September 13, 2007
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Divorce is an ongoing process in a person's life. As people pass through the different stages of divorce, their experiences are unique to their situations. There is no such thing as a typical divorce. All parents must strive to find out what works effectively for their individual family. When children are involved, the result does not have to end with a negative impact. Co-parenting during and after a divorce helps to reassure children that the parental roles will continue. It applies to all parents whether they are married or divorced. The extent to which parents can effectively co-parent and refrain from conflict in the presence of their children greatly determines how children will adjust to the transitions associated with divorce. As most experts will agree, the continued conflict and disparaging of the other parent are the most harmful aspects of divorce and the most detrimental to children. Becoming healthy, cooperative parents and working together for your children's sake is one of the most beneficial things that parents can do for their children. Parents who successfully transition from being a married couple to supportive divorced parents will be able to establish a healthy emotional environment for their children.nn During a divorce it is common for emotions to surface and very tempting to get caught in historical arguments. The end result is almost always hurtful and the focus on the children's best interest is often lost. Leave the issues of your marriage in the past to avoid the pain that lead to the divorce. Find ways to discuss your feelings and receive the support needed from family, friends or health professionals to help guide you through the difficult stages. Taking the time to address your own needs will help your children. Children will feel more secure if they sense that their parents are emotionally healthy. Having healthy outlets for your own feelings will help you get through the divorce process successfully and alleviate some of the stress associated with it. Divorce does not have to mean that children will suffer. The parents may be deciding to end their marriage, but that is separate from their responsibilities as a parent. Children should be able to continue to have a healthy relationship with each parent whether they are married or not.

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About the Author

Susan Woodard, M.S., LMFT is the author and owner of the court approved Positive Parenting Through Divorce workbook. She is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and the Clinical Director of the Atrium Counseling Center in Broward County, Florida, where she has been practicing for over 12 years.

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