Feel Your Grief

I recently asked a friend of mine who has been single for several years if she was complete with her past relationships. It's been my experience that one cannot move forward into healthy new relationships until they are complete with their past. My friend said she had no feelings left about her old relationships.

After a little prodding, she admitted she had managed to get over her divorce by getting into a relationship quickly after her marriage ended. "I was amazed at how easily I could forget my husband," she said. Her relationship with her new boyfriend lasted only a few months, and yet she says she still has feelings for him.

Is my friend ready for another new relationship? Perhaps if she wants her next relationship to closely resemble her previous two. But not if she wants something different.

The only way to forget a former relationship as soon as you enter a new one is by avoiding your feelings of grief over the breakup. You would instead look for the new relationship to fill you up.

The only way to do this is to hold your needs, wants, and desires trapped in your heart, unfelt, unmet, and waiting for the next partner. Although most singles think this is what they are supposed to do, it is not.

How do you feel about your past relationships? Have you swept your feelings under the rug? Are you still secretly pining for someone?

If so, remember that as long as you don't allow yourself to feel the affects of a breakup, you will recreate exactly what you had in the past. If you want something different-- a fulfilling relationship -- you have to allow yourself to feel.

Your Relationship Coach,
Rinatta Paries
www.WhatItTakes.com nn(c) Rinatta Paries, 1998-2002. Do you know how to attract your ideal mate? Do you know how to build a fulfilling relationship, or how to reinvent yours to meet your needs? Relationship Coach Rinatta Paries can teach you the skills and techniques to attract and sustain long-term, healthy partnerships. Visit www.WhatItTakes.com where you'll find quizzes, classes, advice and a free weekly ezine. Become a "true love magnet(tm)!" nnnn