Peace at Any Cost What does that Mean?

Peace at any cost, what does it mean? To me it means following or agreeing with another in order to avoid conflict. The cost is ignoring what you feel, think or believe. My Grandmother lived this way. I watched time and time again what it did to her. Her belief in peace at any cost came back to haunt her through her stomach ailments. My Grandma has since passed away, and the lessons I have learned from her are invaluable.

I took on the mantra of peace at any cost up until my late 20’s. Prior to that, my life revolved around what others felt I should be doing. However, I had a tiny spark of my own life flickering through me, pushing me to rebel and listen to myself. Since then it has been a learning process for me. I use the word NO so often now, I feel as if I am in competition with a two year old. This really aggravates people because I am changing my relationships to what works best for me, not them. How dare I say no to an activity or a favor that is asked of me!
Have you ever noticed that when you say no, people utilize manipulation tactics? When that doesn't work, in comes the guilt trip. This one is great, especially from the mothers. Was there a book of leveraging phrases handed out to them for use if children are not acting in accordance with their wishes? My favorite is, “How can you say no to me, I gave birth to you”?

I want everyone to know that keeping the peace at any cost sucks. It is OK to say NO. Listen to your intuition or gut instincts for direction in situations where you are unsure on how to proceed. We are not obligated to conform to someone’s wishes because they are close to us. Do not allow anyone to make you feel bad about a decision you have made. Others can only make you feel bad if you let them.
Not everything we have learned as children serve us well in adulthood. If it is not working for you anymore, drop it like a hot potato. The byproduct of entertaining peace at any cost resides in your body as fear, anger, resentment or hatred. Listen to yourself and be true to who you are.

It takes courage to listen to yourself, especially when you start swimming upstream against what everyone else believes you should be doing. Every new day is a learning process. Leave what you did yesterday in the past. Take what works for you now, and use it today.

I will be accepted for being myself, not for what others think I should be. Their expectation of what I should be doing does not affect the direction I am going.

Remember, actions speak louder than words, and you can only change yourself.

What do you think? Post your comments.