What is poise anyway? First, it is called composure, which means calm self-assured dignity, especially in dealing with social situations. Second, it is called controlled grace in movement, which is a graceful controlled way of standing, moving, or performing an action. In other words, poise is when you are in control of your standing, composure or body moments.
Whenever we look at a woman what is the first thing that stares at us? That is for everybody both male and female. When a man sees a woman and he is attracted, what necessarily attracted that man? Is it the height, the size, the shape, the colour, the hair, the smile or the face? What actually drew his attention? Many women will think they know the answer and no man can boost of an accurate answer.
What is the attraction factor that compares a man to go after a woman? After several studies and researches on the law of attraction many scholars still find it very difficult to trace the attraction factor between a man and a woman. Some claim it is a mystery, others think it has to do with individuals. The later is the concept that has hindered many from discovering the truth for a long time.
Do you know why many think it has to do with individuals’ different attractions? They believe there is no attraction common to all men. Yet, they dare believe almost all men enjoy sex. They noted that all men can be seduced. However, we are dealing with before seduction. What attracts the man’s attention at first? What makes the man’s head to turn towards her? Accidentally, he looked and saw, what kept his gaze? Why didn’t he look away? This is not the art of seduction but the art of attraction.
All men were born with certain things in common. Certain factors occurred in every child. Irrespective of where he was born, how he was born and what colour, race or sex. Every child has common influencing factors. There might be other variations yet, the common ones do exist. Every child cried, every child enjoy taking in oxygen and releasing carbon dioxe, every child was cuddle with or without love. There are several common childhood experiences that bore down deep into the attraction of all men. In those experiences lies the law of common attraction.
Fill a down hall with all kinds of pretty women, one or two must stand out. Why, because they are more beautiful? You might be right, but how do you define beauty in such condition. For you to be able to pick out one lady in the mix of twenty beautiful ladies, that lady must have something that others doesn’t. Am not talking about like, am talking about attraction. You maybe attracted to her and then decide she is not your type. But the point is, you were attracted. You couldn’t help but stare at first. That is the attraction am talking about. It is always a moment naked attraction and it happens to both sexes.
What is that compelling force that makes heads to turn? New York Fashion homes found out something about this and they went crazy with it. Now you see most young women go nude on every street because they want to attract someone. It doesn’t work that way. Real attraction is beyond fashion. Right from the moment you were formed in the womb you have been reacting to that attraction since. It is just that you couldn’t tag it as attraction. You knew it to be a force which you most often ignored.
You have reacted to the unusual before you were born. Perhaps, while in the womb when your mother behaves the way you weren’t used to you react. You grew up with it; anything unusual makes your head to turn, at least for a moment. That is the law am talking about, they law of the unusual. What you cannot denial is what is new to you. It will definitely command your attention, whether you ask for it or not. However, can this be the art of beauty? Is this unusual strong enough to hold men spent bound in this our world that every woman is beautiful? I don’t think so, many women are already doing many strange things. What can you do different?
They call it poise, I call it the art of beauty. Yeah beauty is an art. And for every art, there is a unique style. That style is your power of attraction for the 21st century world of beauty. A woman pulled back her hair and all heads turned. Another flashed a smile and many mouths giggled. Your styles are those unique things that are peculiar to you. The way you carry your legs; the way you pull a gentle slow smile; your taste in clothing; your confidences in the walk, in the act, and in the talk etc.
Cut a unique deliberate style for yourself. Stay out of what everybody is doing, stage a unique you. Create your style and exercise it until it has become you. If beauty is an art then you must understand all arts are intelligent creativity born out of imitation of life. However, you must understand that there are certain styles you are not designed for so you can’t imitate them, but you can upgrade them to fit your unique style. All works of art involve exercise, don’t be scared to exercise or practice the style you wish to conform to, and don’t forget to still be your unique self.
There is something about style that when you keep at it, you will develop a niche that is you without any form of pretence. You must realise here that there is a difference between play-acting and pretence. Play-acting is taking another role purposefully because you want to fit into that character. Whereas, pretence is assuming a false position; one is an art, the other is an act. Arts are learned, acts are copied. I am not asking you to copy, am asking you to learn. Adopt your favourite style from others, learn and exercise it until it becomes you.
AUSTIN IMORU is the founder/facilitator of Sisters House of Esteem [SHE], an NGO, educating and redirecting young ladies, operational from Edo State of Nigeria. Austin had his first degree at the most sorted after University in Nigeria, the University of Benin, where he studied English and Literature. He had his Certification in Professional Coaching (CPC), Certificate in Small Business Management and Certificate in Management & Leadership. He is a research writer cum public speaker. He is passionate about helping people get what they want out of life.
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