There is a very important principle, called the “Positive Intent“. Positive Intent means, that there is always a positive function or purpose for what is currently happening in our lives. For example a behavior we don't like about ourselves, like getting angry when our kid whines, or getting all shy when walking into a room full of people, or having dyslexia or any kind of habit or pattern that doesn't work for us. There is always a positive reason for us having that in our lives. On a higher level this behavior, habit or way of being serves us. What do you suppose smoking cigarettes might do for people on a higher level? When I ask clients that question I hear answers like: "Smoking helps me to relax and take a deep breath". Or another person said: "Then I'm free for a moment". So, essentially the positive intent of that person is to be free. How interesting. The behavior of smoking actually gives them a feeling of freedom. That's their positive intent for their behavior. Does that make sense? It's such an interesting concept and completely changes your way of looking at the world and yourself when you start asking yourself what the positive intent could be of your behaviors and patterns.
To tie this back into an example. First, the person who wants to go from 160 to 140 pounds. I would ask them what their positive intent is for their current weight of 160 pounds. How does it serve them to have exactly that weight right now. An answer might be: "I feel safer." This answer puts their weight into a completely different perspective and it makes sense why they would have those extra 20 pounds. Because they feel safer.
And lets check out a second example, the person who wants to start their own business. When I ask them "What does it do for you to be employed right now?” they would probably tell me: "It gives me stability because I can depend on my paycheck." This is such an important consideration for that person as they think about starting their own business, that their positive intent for their current situation is a matter of stability and dependability on their paycheck.
These are parts we need to honor as we move forward with our goals. The part that says "I want you to be safe" or the part that says "I want you to be stable and have a dependable paycheck" or whatever positive intent our parts are holding for us. This is so important to understand. Because the positive intent is what holds the current situation in place. Remember, for example the person who is smoking cigarettes. Their part that smokes cigarettes is just attempting to get the person a feeling of freedom.
I once worked with a woman who would get verbally aggressive whenever her kids did not listen to her. When we explored her positive intent for her negative reaction she realized that being aggressive was a way for her to be in control. And when we further explored what it did for her on an even higher level to be in control, she actually came up with peace. So being aggressive was her way of attaining peace. Isn't that amazing? I have done this so many times with people that I would ask them about their positive intent and their answers are always surprising to what the part that creates the behavior really wants for the person.
Now the question is, what is your positive intent for what you currently have in your life. How does it serve you and your life right now. No matter if it's a health issue, a dysfunctional relationship, money issues or just plain depression, there has to be a positive function for what is going on right now. Ask yourself, get in touch with your parts, trust the answers that come up.
Take a nice deep breath and ask yourself. "What is the positive intent of my current situation?" "How does my current situation serve me on a higher level right now?"
Just take your time and trust any thoughts that come to your conscious awareness. What answers are you hearing in your head? What pictures are you seeing with your internal eyes?
Thank your parts for any answers you are receiving.

Sometimes, when people are starting to play with the principle of the Positive Intent it is harder to get answers right away. That is because we are so conditioned to the other way of thinking and beating ourselves up. Trust me, you will get used to asking yourself what the positive intent is for what is happening.
Just relax and trust. By you asking these questions your brain is learning the structure and it will become easier every time you do it.
By knowing the positive intent of your current situation you are more able to tap into the resources of love and compassion for yourself and others, it makes it so much easier to understand why you are doing what you are doing, which opens the door for change.
Again, thank your parts for communicating with you.

Author's Bio: 

Christiane has been perfecting her coach skills for two decades and is an international NLP Trainer, Coach and Consultant. Her Audio book: Quantum NLP - Thought into Manifestation, came out in 2007 in the "Your Coach in a Box" label by Gildan Media, the book version is currently in the publishing process.

She is the founder of Quantum NLP LLC in Salt Lake City, Utah, which offers high integrity NLP Training, Coaching and Consulting. She is a natural teacher - her dynamic combination of strength and gentleness helps her to lead clients and groups to break-through change. Christiane is a leader who highly values community building and has initiated and organized community projects, as for example the annual "NLP EXPO" in Salt Lake City and the "Law of Attraction Club", which started in late 2006.