Powerful Relationship Foundations

I noticed one of our houseplants the other day had soil that was dry and hard, and the plant drooped over the edges of the pot, ready to die. The plant did not have enough power to suck any more moisture from that dry soil. I checked in with my wife to see if she had noticed, and it turned out that both of us thought the other had been watering it. Relationships, like plants, can’t thrive with neglect. It seems so easy to get caught up in the busyness of life and find ourselves looking back to the slow decay of our relationships.

Fortunately, there is a simple way to bring power and vitality back into the roots of your relationship. That is by taking responsibility for your part in the relationship instead of blaming your partner. For me, responsibility often meant that I would get blamed; feel heavy (ie. be a victim); and feel like everything depended on me! We have come to learn that taking responsibility is actually quite freeing. Instead of blaming the other person we are learning to first look at ourselves. When we blame we have no control over our own lives -- we become victims of circumstance. Blame keeps us from fully enjoying life and engaging in our lives. We can choose whether we want to put our focus on being right or getting results in our relationships.

By taking responsibility, you both get to choose what your relationship will look like and how it will feel. As you choose, you can be freed from harmful roles and ways of reacting. When you make a conscious choice of how to act, you will feel a greater sense of control in creating the kind of relationship you want. Perhaps most importantly, taking responsibility simply feels good – knowing that you are tending the garden of your relationship in an effective and productive way. As you consciously apply these redefined feelings of responsibility, you will feel more powerful to create the kind of relationship that you want to be actively involved in. Neglect and distance are no longer an issue because you will have put the most important thing you can into your relationship – that of yourself.

Take action now by asking yourself:
-Who are you blaming?
-For what?
-What responsibility are you willing to take?
-What shift do you want to occur?

Great relationships enliven all other aspects of our lives, so everyone benefits when you take the time and energy to build even one relationship!