Quit Worrying

Worrying is an activity you do like riding a bicycle or cooking spaghetti. It is largely done according to choice. Being a chosen activity, you can stop doing it just like you can quit bicycle riding or cooking spaghetti. How? By first changing your thoughts.

Why should you first focus on changing your thoughts to be able to quit worrying? Because worrying is largely a mental activity. Behavior happens after you first think thoughts. When you worry, you first think using worry-based thoughts. So, to change from worry behavior, you first think confidence thoughts.

When you worry your mind spins like a spinning top, making little forward movement. Once you stop worrying, you no longer think in a circular, “getting-nowhere-fast” thought pattern. Worry exerts time and energy about events that will rarely actually occur. Consider following these tips to stop worrying.

1. Relax and focus on thoughts that trigger feelings of confident purpose and forward movement for you. Examples might be, “Today I will do (X) to achieve the goal of (Y.)” By being goal oriented in your thoughts you act in meaningful ways.

2. Fantasize that you are the world’s most masterful problem-solver. Take time to relax doing your favorite activity in a distraction-free, quiet environment. Visualize the initially worrisome situation with a new end result that favors you in a harmless, constructive way.

3. Understand that details without a solution to improve a situation form worry thoughts. To stop worrying, refocus on solution-based details using a step-by-step forward moving direction that makes sense to you.

4. Commit to only using a process that creates a feeling of accomplishment by using it. Otherwise, you might wind up feeling overwhelmed which simply creates more worry.

5. Plan a way to improve a situation by first changing your attitude about it, rather than focus just on random details about the situation. If you think no useful options exist, switch to believing options DO exist. Instead of instantly saying, “I can’t do that!” or “I can’t allow that!” ask, “What CAN I do to make things better?”

6. Use a brief, step-by-step process that provides a way to measure improvement results. Compare your initial situation where you felt worried to each improved version of the situation. Give credit and praise to those helping to improve things, including yourself. This helps motivate people to continue improving things. Consider implementing ideas that make things better. Look for the improvements and build on them.

7. If you feel worrying needs to be done, give yourself 5 minutes to worry. Set a timer specifically to worry. Then after the worry activity time ends, plan 3 ways to improve the situation. If you feel unsure HOW to improve a situation, ask someone else who’s already experienced a similar situation. Listen without interrupting as they share how they improved things. Take notes and keep reviewing them until you incorporate them. Seeing solutions on paper can help you quit feeling compelled to worry.

8. If you find yourself worrying during the day, remind yourself that your worry activity time is later in the day. In this way, you can delay or postpone the worry activity. Doing this your mind may be more willing to allow you to refocus on something constructive instead of the worry thoughts. You might consider writing down your worries in a “worry notebook for later.”

Write out possible solutions that improve the worry. Then, actually ENACT at least one step of the solution. Measure the results (if you can) and keep moving forward. Doing this, you may slowly but surely see that you CAN solve the idea that seems so worrisome.
Focus on what you CAN do to improve the situation. Get a “vanishing worries” piggy bank. Each time you notice you are complaining that things are turning out all wrong, put a nickel in the bank. Soon you’ll have enough money to contribute to getting tools or hiring a consultant to help you solve the problem.