Are you wondering how to get started again after being out of the dating scene for so long? Are you wondering if you are still “in the game” - if anyone is going to find you attractive and if you have what it takes to attract someone.

If you answered yes to any of those questions, you have a lot in common with most adults who have found themselves single after years in a relationship.

Well, I have confidence in you. I believe anyone can rejoin the world of flirting and dating at any point in their lives. Yes, there are a handful of skills you need to hone before going out to a party, club or social gathering with high hopes of attracting someone. Flirting is an important skill to master, but an easy one to learn.

Flirting is a very broad term. What comes to mind when you hear the word? The first thing that comes to me is a feeling of self-confidence: a self-assured man or woman with a warm, bright smile along with body language that says, "It's safe to approach me" or "Stay there and I will approach you." The smile and body language communicate that the interaction will be fun, playful and engaging. Who wouldn’t respond to an invitation like that?

Flirting is:

* eye contact that connects
* an invitation to share yourself with someone else
* breathing into feeling vulnerable but approaching someone anyway
* initiating that conversation and staying present to it
* having the courage to be yourself
* without expectation (or an end goal)
* playful, direct and honest (I can't emphasize this enough!)
* can be sexy and sensuous but not sexual (unless you choose it to be)
* and most of all flirting is a conscious choice to express interest in another.

Here is one tip to get you started on your foray into the old familiar land of flirting and dating. Get paper and pen and write down all the amazing and unique things about you (go ahead, do it now). What are the top 3 things on that list that other people love about you? In a brief interaction with a prospective date, you can share those 3 things easily as long as you know what they are. It’s a matter of knowing your gifts and sharing them confidently.

For example, one thing people love about me is that I make people feel comfortable and at ease. Since I’ve gotten that feedback again and again, I am sure to emphasize it when I meet someone. I do that by using direct eye contact and a gentle, warm touch on the person’s arm when talking or listening to them. These simple gestures put people at ease and let them know I am interested in them.

Assessing your readiness and learning to flirt again will get you back into the dating scene with confidence and ease. Make this summer your time to flirt, date and have fun!

Author's Bio: 

An expert in flirting, psychotherapist Robyn Vogel utilizes her gifts to help people build confidence and develop a fun and flirtatious attitude. More information can be found on her website at