For anyone who has been focusing on how to get their fiancé back or to get back with their lover or partner can probably relate to the song called “Nothing Compares To You” by Sinead O’Connor.

The song really captures the intensity of the despair, the longing, the loneliness and desire to be given that second chance.

There are many e-books and programs that describe what is needed to get your partner or lover back which revolves around detachment, appearing like you have carried on, working on self-love and studying everything one needs to know in order to rebuild a brand new relationship with their partner once their partner returns.

A lot of the focus in getting your partner back revolves around giving the partner who has left space so as to not apply pressure or push their partner away and to create desire and appreciation since absence makes the heart grow fonder especially when there is some contact and they are met with a strong, independent, desirable and positive person.

However, as in the song “Nothing Compares to You” the intensity of the love, the shock to one’s system, the drive to have a second chance, the fear of losing their partner or running out of time creates the need to want to control, plead, convince and see their partner all the time.

So the following are suggestions on how to maintain detachment and resist the urge to push your partner further away.

1) Have Fun:

In the Sinead O’Connor song there is a line that goes “I went to the Doctor and guess what he told me? He said “Girl you got to have fun no matter what you do because he’s a fool”

Anyone going through an abandonment by their partner can vouch that this is way easier said then done, however, especially when the time a part often feels like physical torture and since you are spacing out half the time anyway, having fun is still the easiest way to keep your energy, spirits and vibration up and keeps you grounded in the moment as well as provides tension relief, renewal and sense of purpose.

2) Every Minute Not Together = A Minute Invested Into Your Future Together:

Even minute of you day seems so drawn out that you almost want to panic because of all the missed time apart yet it’s important to remember that it took time for your relationship to get to point that it came to when the separation occurred so it is going to take some time in order for the relationship and both of you as individuals to heal as well as time for the resolution of the old to take place in order to create anew. Ever moment away from each others also allows the time needed for appreciation, gratitude and remembrance of your awesomeness, love and beauty to kick in within your partner.

3) Don’t Resist The Down Moments:

Down moments often consist of withdrawal symptoms, physical discomfort, bouts of panic, depression, disconnection, shock, flashbacks of both good and bad moments and it’s all okay. It’s okay to be vulnerable, open and honest with yourself, your feelings and emotions - it is the best way to heal as well as position yourself into preference and detachment because you are not holding back and being in resistance to your emotions and fears.

4) When You Can - Confront Your Fears Head On:

A lot of the resistance, panic, impatience and urge to want to start controlling or pleading with your partner is coming from fear so the healthy thing to do for yourself and your relationship when you are ready is to face your greatest fear and walk through and feel what is like to never get your partner back. You will discover you will live through this and then you have all your power back and have naturally gone into a state of preference and detachment because you are no longer in fear because you walked right through it and survived.

5) Go Easy On Yourself If You Fall-Off The Preference and Detachment Bandwagon:

Panic, be sad, get angry then go back into Preference and Detachment – it’s simply that easy. You need all the energy you can get so just let things go when you fall off the Preference and Detachment Bandwagon and remember there is always the chance to get right back on.

6) Keep An Eye On Your Thoughts and What You Say and What You Are Focusing Your Attention on:

We are human and sometimes we need to face the “negative thoughts” for healing and focus on walking through the fear – but otherwise there is no need to scare yourself. Make a choice to choose positive thoughts – no one cares if your are vulnerable or lose – but for your own peace of mind if you are going to go for it might as well go all out 100% and take the leap of faith and take-out the “stinking thinking” and negative thoughts when you can.

7) The Greatest Gift Is Surrender:

Embrace Surrender instead of fear it, once again you have nothing to lose except the opportunity to play all out 100% and surrendering ironically is your trump card and allows faith and your intention to do its job and awesome magic.

Keep these suggestions in mind and before you know it, your partner will be at your door and everything that you are experiencing now will be just a distant memory.

Author's Bio: 

Melody Chase is a Relationship Expert and Writer at the Centre For Life Management in Winnipeg, MB, CA. She is the Co-author of the Counsellor in a Box Relationship Rescue and Repair Home Study Program ( as well as Co-author of the E-book "How To Find Out If You Are With Your Soul-mate: The Love By Design System"