Article

RELATIONSHIP CHECK UP

Written by Dr Sadie Sheafe, Ph.d., LCSW

Topic: SexualityPublished Recently added

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There are very few guarantees in life but one is certain, everything changes: day changes to night, morning to evening and summer to fall. People of course are no exception; we physically change from young to old. There are times we change for the better and at times the changes are undesirable.

Being in a relationship requires work, whether it is working on communication between the parties involved or works on other issues. One comment that I continually make to my clients who are experiencing relationship difficulties is that they may have known what their partner wanted in the past, but have they stopped lately to ask what they currently want. Unfortunately, most individuals rely on past knowledge and this is often where the problems arise. Ask yourself, when was the last time you sat down and did a relationship checkup. When it comes to relationships, an ounce of prevention is truly worth a pound of cure.

Does the relationship still meet your partner?s needs? Are there things you could both do differently? Are they happy with the sex and with intimacy? Has the intimacy changed for better or for worse, and if so why? Has your partner asked you what you like or what changes you would like to see?

Too often people think they know these answers but have not done a checkup on their relationship in years. Just like health prevention, it is never too soon to start doing the right thing. It is important to conduct a relationship checkup no matter how long you have been together.

How do you start a “relationship check up”? If you want something from your partner, start by doing it first; if you want a kiss ask for one. If you want increased sexual intimacy ask for it. Relationships take work, but the work does not have to be hard. When you open up a conversation with your significant other, you must be willing to talk about it or return to it later. Just think about the last time you really took time to share with your mate about the changes you may both want to make. Intimacy really is “into me you see”. The best relationship of your life could be just a few words away.

Your comments and feedback are Welcome. CONTACT ME

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About the Author

Dr Sheafe has over 24 years of clinical experience in marriage counseling & family therapy. She specializes in: substance abuse treatment, drug addiction, sex therapy and couples counseling. She can assist with recovery from emotional, verbal, physical and drug abuse. Dr Sheafe is considered an expert on domestic violence and issues related to childhood trauma and porn addiction. She has worked with thousands of clients throughout the United States & Europe. She States, “I offer solid, down-to-earth guidance!” She is called upon by litigators as an ‘Expert Witness’ for issues related to sexual trauma. She offers phone counseling or in-person visits for those living in South East Virginia. For complete information please visit: http://www.drsadiesheafe.com/telephoneconsultation.html or email her at
Sadie@Dr Sheafe.com. Most Insurance accepted.

Dr Sheafe is a Board Certified Clinical Sexologist, American Board of Sexology Diplomate, and Licensed Clinical Social Worker.
She is certified in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and Dialectical Behavioral Therapy. Currently, she serves as the Chairman, Virginia Legislative Committee: National Association Social Work, (NASW) and Virginia, Regional Representative for Hampton Roads, Virginia; Member, American Board of Clinical Sexologists and the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists (AASECT). She has been appointed to the Mental Health Advisory Council Board for the city of Portsmouth, Virginia and was elected to the State Board of Directors for NASW. She is currently the Chairman of the Department of Veterans Affairs Social Work Professional Standards Board, Virgina and an Adjunct Professor at Norfolk State University in the Doctoral and Masters Degree Programs for Social Work.

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