Relationship Help:Can we have peace in a hurry?
Written by Rhoberta Shaler, PhD
Now, really! There is a little wiggle room of time we give the driver in front of us who does not have the reflexes of an astronaut when the light turns green, right? And, we’re all generally aware of it. That’s why we know it’s not the norm when the honk comes a nano-second after the light changes. Somebody is impatient, angry, frustrated, or simply irrational! We then choose to sow peace and let it go…right? I hope none of us are giving away our emotional well-being so trivially at this point. (If you happen to be still doing that, this would be a good time to re-evaluate. Call me. We need to talk…lol.)
I live in the home state of the so-called “California Stop,” a kind of almost rolling through any intersection without fully applying the brakes. Now here in the Golden State, there is actually a time period that constitutes a full stop. That is a full three seconds! Imagine–three whole seconds to keep ourselves and others safer. So, now you know why yesterday’s event truly surprised me.
I have a dear friend who is ninety-five years old. He used to a lecturer at Sandhurst College in England and he continues to teach as he keeps me up to date on the soccer, baseball and daily news that I take no time to follow. Beyond that, he keeps me informed of what is in the current edition of Time and Newsweeks magazines, and the features in National Geographic. So, there is no loss of interest or ability there! He even gets his scores and news headlines–including the BBC–online, and he loves Google!
He is not fond of seatbelts. So, here was the surprise: we were stopped at a stop sign within a Von’s (Canadians: read Safeway’s) parking lot. He was having difficulty doing up the seatbelt and a stopped and reached to secure it. No more than one second used, and BEEP! comes from a big blonde woman in a black SUV behind me. I could not believe it!
We got the seatbelt fastened and were on our way within the three second mandated time frame. Wherever did she think she had to hurry to that required honking in that second? In a parking lot for heaven’s sake!
So, three things to ask ourselves:
Have we ever been that driver behind me?
How do we choose to respond to that driver behind me?
Can we possible have peace if we’re always in a hurry?
In every moment, in every relationship, we can choose to sow peace.
Article author
About the Author
Rhoberta Shaler, PhD, The Relationship Help Doctor, makes it easier to talk about difficult things. Founder of Sow Peace® and The Optimize Institute & Center, she works with couples and teams worldwide to improve conscious communication and collaboration. Trained as a psychologist and professional mediator, Dr. Shaler offers clients the insights, skills, strategies and solutions to sow peace. Learn more and follow her blog at http://SowPeace.com
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