Relationship Recipe

We all know that when two or more people are involved in something, communication is essential, be it verbal or physical, it helps us towards a goal. But how do we use it?

Communication can be used positively to share ideas, give feedback, show appreciation and love. It can be used negatively to criticize, hurt feelings and express anger and rage. Which sounds better? We should always be looking at our relationships as a team working towards happiness and fulfilment. Whatever takes place in a relationship needs to benefit both not just one. So when we communicate we need to build not destroy, it is our future. Sometimes we are blind to it at the time, but when we communicate in a way that brings the other person down, we are pushing them away and creating their and our own unhappiness. Therefore if we truly want to be happy as individuals and in the relationships we have chosen to be in, then it is important that we communicate to build not destroy.

Another really important part of a happy relationship is listening. Not just hearing our partner’s voice, but listening to their concerns and dreams. If your partner seems to always repeat themselves with regards to an issue, then listen to what they are saying, the issue is not resolved, it needs your attention. The needs and desires of our partner’s are just as important as ours. We all want our desires to be fulfilled, the best way for this to happen is to give and you will receive. The ingredients for a wonderful relationship are, God, desire, respect, love and forgiveness. Imagine the beauty you could create as a couple if you applied all of this to every aspect of your relationship.

We can agree that a relationship requires us to be present, not just physically but emotionally, mentally and spiritually too. We get out what we put in, so if we are to enjoy a wonderful relationship, then we really need to be completely involved in every aspect. If you are married then this is the person you have chosen to spend the rest of your life with, don’t be naïve and think that everything is just going to be the way you want it to be, and if it isn’t you’ll just shut off and do what you want. Look daily at what you are doing to add too and take away from a beautiful relationship, be present and co-create the magic.

As a winning team we need to share our dreams and visions, communicate them passionately and listen with purpose. A successful relationship is not about the past but about where we are now and where we are going, together. Start working together today, having happiness as an individual is great but when we share that happiness with the ones we love, it becomes magically wonderful.

Shaun Olivier
Whole Heart Life CoachnE-mail: shaunalec@telkomsa.net