Book Review: Relationship Rescue Workbook, The: Exercises and Self-Tests to Help You Reconnect with Your Partner

Amazon.com Review Most Oprah viewers are well aware of Dr. Phil's book Relationship Rescue, which presents a seven-step program for salvaging troubled relationships. McGraw would be the first to tell you that watching Oprah or reading about his program are all fine and good, but if you really want to rescue your relationship, you've got to do the work--which is where this excellent workbook comes in. Loaded with probing questions, exercises, and fill-in-the-blank "self-tests," this four-part book is probably more effective than having a televised session with McGraw on Oprah. (For those who haven't seen the tearful relationship breakthroughs, be assured that McGraw gets results.) Don't expect to approach this workbook as if you were whizzing through a magazine quiz. Like the relationship that you are trying to revive, this workbook presents a big commitment. (There's no timeline suggested, but judging from the amount of work involved, common sense says to give it at least a month.) McGraw also urges readers to use this workbook in tandem with Relationship Rescue, even though there are similar exercises in both books. The hardcover book is geared toward helping readers identify "what's wrong and begin the process of restoration," he explains. The workbook helps readers begin the self-scrutinizing work that leads to change. Throughout this 287-page workbook, McGraw asks readers to be brutally honest while they examine the beliefs, behaviors, resentments, and expectations that they bring to the relationship. The four-part structure echoes the structure of his original book, starting with "Recover Your Core" and finishing with "Aim for the Best." Some of the exercises seem predictable, such as "list and describe five things that made you fall in love with your partner." Most of the time, though, the requests are profound and suggest a huge impact on a relationship. For example:

• "I am 100 percent accountable for my life, so I will take a responsibility for bringing a win/win spirit to the table day after day. I can show my optimism by..."n
• "My partner does not deserve the effort I am about to invest. I deserve it, and our relationship deserves it. I will take the respect I have for our relationship and exercise it toward my partner. Some simple ways I can demonstrate the respect I hope to be shown myself are..."n

nThis workbook won't change your partner or offer you relationship perfection, warns McGraw. The goal is "to reconnect with your own best self" (which is the foundation of McGraw's couples work). Nor is there a big prize upon completing the workbook. Instead, readers will find a personal letter from McGraw, emphasizing what's already been discovered--relationships aren't maintained and nurtured by a one-shot course, but rather by a strong commitment to one's highest self. It may sound anticlimactic, but as so many Oprah guests are likely to attest, it really works. --Gail Hudson nnProduct Information The ideal companion book to the #1 New York Times bestseller nEver since Relationship Rescue became an instant number one New York Times hardcover bestseller, Phil McGraws audiences have been asking for a workbook to help them apply his strategies for change to their relationships. Now, in The Relationship Rescue Workbook, Dr. Phil, Oprah's resident expert on human functioning, provides questions, exercises and self-tests that will enable couples in even the most troubled relationships to get their love lives back on track. And for those in solid relationships who would like to regain their spark, he reveals how to make that happen. He shows readers exactly how to pinpoint problems in their relationships, and how to make sure that the changes they enact will truly last. His straightforward, tell-it-like-it-is advice is made crystal clear in this easy-to-use workbook that is sure to prove immensely popular with his devoted national following. To view this book on Amazon.com, click here.