Relationship Wish List

It’s time to get real with your relationships. Whether you are currently single or in a relationship, I invite you to ask yourself the following questions because this is part of the process of healing your relationships. In doing this you can heal those from the past, embrace the present and choose your future relationships with a new person or with your current partner.

What do you want in a relationship?

This may seem like an easy question yet it can produce some anxiety for some. Perhaps you are afraid to want what you want because you may not actually get it. Or you may realize what you really want may not be available in your current relationship. Stay open and trust that you are taking steps to create the relationship that you desire.

• Let go of your fear and get honest with yourself.
• What is important to you in a relationship? While your list may be long, narrow it down to the five things that are most important.
• Focus on your emotional needs, too. Connecting with how you want to feel centers you in your heart and that is where truth lies.

For example, do you have a relationship that is full of love, support, respect and laughter? Maybe you want a partner who shares your love of the outdoors. Do you want children?

What do you have in your present relationship or what have you had in past relationships?

Do you have any of the items that are on your list?

For example:

• If you say you want a partner who is respectful, is your partner (past or current) treating you with respect? Does he or she honor your feelings, your time and desires? Or are they critical, condescending or verbally abusive?

What is your relationship showing you about yourself?

How much of your value and worth do you see? Are you allowing behaviors in your relationship that may not serve you?

Take the above example and ask yourself:

• Are you being treated with disrespect and disregard? Is that ok with you? If so, why?
• Do you feel uncomfortable and anxious most of the time in your relationship? Or do you feel comfortable and at ease?

What are you willing to do?

Are you willing to become aware of your issues, fears, lack of self worth? What are you willing to heal? Realize that the issues of both partners contribute to the health of the relationship, whether or not you or your partner is aware of them.

Becoming aware allows for growth and creates a healthy environment for relationships to thrive and be authentic.

Ask yourself these questions to gain clarity of what you want:

• What do you have?
• What you are allowing?
• What you are willing to do?

Review the questions periodically and see if your answers change over time. This is one step of healing the past.