Relationships
Written by Keith Collins - The Inner Coach
Relationships can be determined by type, quality and purpose.
Different types of relationship can have different qualities and a different purpose.
This is what makes all relationships individual and unique to those within the relationship.
Types of Relationship
There are many Types of Relationship.
What type of relationship that I have with someone depends upon the roles that we are both playing within the relationship.
As the roles change, so does the type of relationship.
Husband & wife, father & son, mother & daughter are all different types of relationship.
Teacher & pupil, trainer & trainee, therapist & client, coach & coachee are all different types of relationship.
Director & manager, manager & worker, employer & employee, employee & customer are all different types of relationship.
As I change my role within a relationship, I change the type of relationship that I am having and how I relate to another person.
A mother & daughter may relate to each other as a parent & child during the early years of their relationship and relate to each other as best friends later in life, even though they remain a mother and a daughter by virtue of their ancestral lineage rather than as their roles in life.
The type of relationship does not determine the quality of the relationship.
The Quality of a Relationship
The Quality of a Relationship is determined by the compatibility and the co-operation of the individuals within the relationship, rather than the qualities, attributes and attainments of the individuals themselves.
The compatibility and co-operation of the people within a relationship is determined by the Law of Attraction according to how alike people are or how attractive they are to each other.
People who are alike, like each other and relate well. They are compatible and they co-operate with each other.
Relationships become strained because as well as 'like attracts like', opposites also attract.
Gender opposites attract and relate well, whereas polar opposites repel each other and find each other repulsive.
Miserable people can get on well with miserable people, whereas happy people can't.
An arrogant person may be seen by their humble partner as confident.
A meek person may be seen by an arrogant partner as weak.
The quality of the relationship is not determined by the quality of the emotional state of being of the individuals within the relationship.
Neither is it determined by the type of role that the individuals are adopting, nor is it determined by the purpose of the relationship.
The Purpose of Relationship
The Purpose of Relationship is threefold:
1. To meet the emotional needs of both partners in a relationship.
I have a relationship with anyone who meets my needs emotionally. I develop my personality and my character in order to relate better to other people and be more successful in getting my emotional needs met by them. This may be the case whether it is with a marriage partner, a family relative, a friend, a work colleague, or even a family pet.
This is called a Co-dependent Relationship and is 'being together in separateness'.
2. To enable me to grow and to develop personally in a spiritual way.
On a spiritual path of development and growth, other people are essential as a mirror image of whom and where I am on my path. As it is impossible to see the aspects of my own identity that I have chosen to develop, other people are attracted to me as my opportunity to see in them what I wish to change in my Self.
This is called an Interdependent Relationship and is 'Being Separate in Togethe
ess'
3. To allow me to share the attributes and attainments of my true identity with others.
By sharing the highest aspects of who I am with another who has attained those attributes, allows us both to experience and to enjoy the exponential benefits of our mutual development and growth.
This is called an Interdevelopmental Relationship and is 'Being Together in Togethe
ess'.
In Summary
Relationship is about who we are being in relationship to another person.
Who I am being in relationship to another person is how I relate to that person and is always a matter of my personal choice.
The question is: “Am I making that choice consciously or not”?
Article author
About the Author
Life Coaching for Personal Development & Spiritual Growth
Further reading
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