So you’ve read every article on the web with the keywords “relationship,” “stale,” and “no more” tagged in it, but your relationships still seem to go bad faster than a gallon of milk during a power outage. A lot of articles on this topic will tell you to do things like give your partner more space, or mix things up to keep it fresh, but the effectiveness of these things will only be marginal if the source of the problem is something inherent in your personality. One possible source of these issues is Borderline Personality Disorder, which is one of the most common but underdiagnosed psychological disorders out there. Around 2% of the country has BPD (that’s over 6 million people), yet there is most likely much more since many of its symptoms overlap with Bipolar Disorder and Depression (not surprisingly the two most commonly misdiagnosed personality disorders for people with BPD).

BPD is characterized by impulsiveness and a fear of being abandoned, along with phases of idealization and devaluation of themselves and others. If you find yourself oscillating between feeling that your partner is the best girl/boyfriend in the world to someone who never does anything for you, this could be an indication that you have this disorder. People that suffer from BPD go through phases of idealization, where they view their partner as being more grandiose than they actually are – but it is not exactly real admiration, since it is done so by your subconscious, which is prompted to idealize potential “caregivers” that can feed your emotional needs. However, if that person physically leaves or even plans to leave you (regardless of the duration that they will be gone or the reason), a person with BPD’s subconscious will perceive that as a threat to their emotional support system and prompt you to turn against them, sending you into a devaluation state.

Also, people that suffer from BPD tend to have an unstable sense of their own image, which will often lead to sudden changes in values and career goals. Similar to this, another telltale sign is impulsivity, manifesting itself in things such as sexual promiscuity and wild spending. All of these things are equally damaging to interpersonal relationships, giving those that suffer from it a high probability of being in dysfunctional or failed relationships.

If you exhibit symptoms of PTSD, you might also have BPD. Studies have shown that over 50% of individuals that are diagnosed with PTSD also have BPD. They tend to occur in tandem because they are both rooted in trauma, although BPD is more centered around traumatic events suffered in one’s childhood. If you suspect that you have BPD, the best thing to do is to see a psychologist or psychiatrist.

Author's Bio: 

Eric Hirota is a personal trainer at LAVA Sports & Fitness in San Diego, CA.