Relationships: Why Do Some Attractive People End Up With People Who Mistreat Them?

If someone is physically attractive, it can be normal for some people to have an idealised view of them. They are then going to be a human being but they can be seen as being perfect and even godlike.

When this takes place, it won’t be possible for another person to see them clearly. In addition to what they look like, they could be emotionally developed, morally upright and have developed a number of skills.

A key Point

However, even if this is the case, they are still going to have their faults. Conversely, apart from their looks, they might not have a lot going for them.

Therefore, they could be emotionally underdeveloped, immoral, and not have developed any skills. If so, they will be like a car that is uncomfortable to drive and has breaks that don’t work.

A Rough Ride

Getting involved with someone like this is likely to lead to suffering, just as getting in a car like this is going to lead to the same outcome. To put all this to one side, it can seem strange how someone who is attractive could end up in a relationship where they are not valued.

This is largely based on the view that if someone is attractive, this area of their life will be perfect. Thanks to what they look like, the person who they have a relationship with will value and love them.

A Very Different Scenario

But, as there are plenty of people who are attractive and haven’t been in a loving relationship, it is clear that looking good is not enough. Still, it is unlikely that this will be widely accepted any time soon.

And, not only can someone who is attractive be in a relationship where they are not treated well but they can stay in this position for a very long time. From the outside, then, as they look good, they can appear to have it all and yet, for no apparent reason, they will be with someone who treats them like dirt and simply put up with this.

A Closer Look

What needs to be acknowledged at this point is that even if someone is physically attractive, it doesn’t mean that they will have a sense of their own value or feel lovable. Due to this, it won’t be what is going on for them externally that is undermining them; it will be what is going on for them internally.

But, if this is not something that they are aware of, they can believe that their appearance is the issue. The outcome of this is that they can focus on changing how they look, believing that this will allow them to change this area of their life.

The Same Old Story

The trouble is that no matter what they do to their appearance, what is going on for them internally will stay the same. What is going on for them internally will define what is going on for them at an energetic level.

What is going for them at this level will define who they are attracted to and who they repel. Thus, there is nothing random when it comes to who they do or don’t have a relationship with.

A Deeper Level

When it comes to what is going on for them at an energetic level, this will relate to what is going on for them at a conscious and an unconscious level. There will be the impact that their thoughts, beliefs, feelings and needs have.

Additionally, what is going on for them at an unconscious level has a greater impact on their life than what is going on for them at a conscious level. If they are into self-development, for instance, they might have programmed their conscious mind to be very positive.

Two Sides

Yet, below this part of them will be their unconscious mind and this can be full of ‘negativity’. What is going on for them at this level is likely to primarily be a reflection of what it was like for them during their formative years.

For example, this may have been a time when one or both of their parents were emotionally unavailable and out of reach. This would have caused them to be deprived of the attunement and care that they needed to develop a felt sense of worth and lovability.

A Tough Time

At this stage of their life, it wouldn’t have mattered what they looked like or that they had inherent value and were lovable as their parent or parents wouldn’t have been able to provide them with the love that they needed. But, as they were egocentric, they would have personalised what took place.

It was then not that their parent or parents couldn’t love them, most likely because they had also been deprived during their formative years; no, it was that there was something inherently wrong with them and they were unlovable. Many years will have passed since this stage of their life but a big part of them won’t have moved on.

A New Reality

For them to move on from this stage of their life and develop a felt sense of worth and lovability, they are likely to have beliefs to question and pain to face and work through. This will take courage, patience and persistence.

Awareness
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If someone can relate to this and they are ready to change their life, they may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided with the assistance of a therapist or healer.