Practically from the moment that someone is born, they can end pushing their emotions out of their awareness. After a little while, they can have very little, if any, connection with this part of their being.

However, even though they will have lost touch with a big part of who they are, it doesn’t mean that they will realise this. Even so, this is not to say that being this way won’t cause them problems.

The Consequences

Through being disconnected from their emotional self, it will probably be a challenge for them to develop deeper connections with others. They may also find it hard to know what their needs are.

It is then not going to be a surprise if they often feel lost and as though their life has no meaning. They could look towards other people to tell them what to do and how to live their life.

A Full Time Job

Keeping the emotional pain that is within them at bay is also likely to take a lot of their energy. Still, this doesn’t mean that one is aware of the things that they do to stop this pain from entering their conscious mind.

They could just do things without thinking about why they do them, but the things that they do do will enable them to keep their head above water, so to speak. The society that they live in could provide them with a whole host of things that will allow them to do this.

Their Demeanour

The average person might have absolutely no idea that they are emotionally disconnected, as they could come across as someone who is positive and full of life. The image that they project to the world is going to have very little to do with what they are really like on the inside.

But, as long as nothing dramatic takes place in their life, it should be possible for them to continue to live on the surface of themselves and to deceive most others in the process. Nevertheless, if something takes place that does reconnect them to how they feel, they could end up being in an extremely low place.

The Trigger

This is something that could take place if a loved one or a family member has passed on, or it could occur if they experience a break up. Up until this point they could have been somewhat settled, but now they could feel as though they are all at sea.

Quite frankly, the pain that they are in could be unbearable - like an active volcano, the emotional part of their being will have erupted. The trouble is that as they have been emotionally disconnected for most of their life, they might have absolutely no idea about what to do.

A Precarious Position

At one point they would have been high up in the clouds and now they will be right down in the dirt. Not only will they feel really low and even depressed, they could also feel suicidal.

The ideal would be for them to tell the people in their life about what they are going through and to reach out for support. This may happen, but there is also the chance that it won’t.

The Gatekeeper

Although they are in a lot of pain and desperately need help, another part of them could stop them from taking this step. This part of them could cause them to feel very uncomfortable about opening up to others.

What is likely to underpin this part of them is shame, with this being something that has permeated their whole being. What they are going though is then going to be painful, but opening up to others will be seen as something that would be even more painful.

An Inaccurate View

One is going to be a human being who has emotional problems, something that is often part of the human experience, and yet they will feel as though this is something that they have to hide because of the toxic shame that is within them. Consequently, it won’t matter if they are in a relationship or if they have a big family, as it will be as if they are isolated on an island.

What this illustrates is that while a small amount of shame can allow one to function in society, too much of it can cause them all kinds of problems. If they do carry a lot of shame, it can be the result of what took place during the beginning of their life.

The Message

Perhaps, their early years were a time when they experienced some kind of abuse and/or neglect. Disconnecting from their emotions and therefore, their body, would have been a way for them to survive.

What they experienced would have caused them to believe that there was something inherently wrong with who they are. In reality, how they were treated had absolutely nothing to do with them and everything to do with what was going on for their caregiver/s.


Irrespective of whether ones early years were like this or not, if they are in a bad way, they must take the next step. If they reach out to someone who can’t help, they need to keep looking until they find someone who can.

The right help is out there but it might take a while for them to attain the help that they need. It will be vital for them tap into the part of them that wants to live and to move forward, no matter how small this part is.

Author's Bio: 

Teacher, prolific writer, author, and consultant, Oliver JR Cooper, hails from England. His insightful commentary and analysis covers all aspects of human transformation, including love, partnership, self-love, and inner awareness. With over two thousand, one hundred in-depth articles highlighting human psychology and behaviour, Oliver offers hope along with his sound advice.

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