Listening Better Than 25% Energizes Your Life

You’re feeling more tired than you used to. Your get-up-and-go got up and went, and you can’t put your finger on how to get it back. You hardly have the energy to try.

Author and educator Dr. Linda Page (“Stress and Energy”) recognizes that low energy has a significant impact on health. Low energy is often a byproduct of stress, which “is by far the most common health problem in the world today.” Stress saps energy and erodes the body’s ability to fight off disease.

To combat stress, Page offers tips on exercise, diet, deep breathing, aromatherapy and nutritional supplements. She talks about the effects of depression, addiction and disease on energy and how to bounce back. One energy-boosting tool she doesn’t delve into is listening.

“Next to breathing, listening is the single most important thing you and I do,” says Carol McCall, founder of The Institute for Global Listening and Communication. “Yet, did you know that most people only listen at 25 percent of their capacity?” (“LISTEN! There’s a World Waiting To Be Heard: The Empowerment of Listening”)

Not Listening Saps Energy

What passes for listening today is like a Ping-Pong game. One person serves a question or comment. The other waits for a turn to offer a correction, addition or comment. Their thoughts are wandering; they’re strategizing about their return. It’s rather combative, and not very fun. The exchange is about words, not meaning; information rather than substance. The “listener” is focusing on him- or herself, not the speaker; and there’s little regard or empathy for the other.

At the end of an exchange like this, most people come away feeling incomplete and dissatisfied. They may feel tired and defeated, as if they’ve lost the game. They may feel irritated, frustrated or angry. Or they may feel deflated—like the energy has been sucked right out. These are all typical reactions, and all are pathways to reduced energy and stress.

McCall believes that feeling listened to and understood is as primal a need as food and self-preservation for most human beings. She’s in the process of proving that not being heard results in toxins being produced in the body—the same toxins associated with stress and illness.

Artful Listening Creates Energy

When a person is heard, on the other hand, there’s a sense of well-being. The listener is available and, as Thomas Moore (“Care of the Soul”) puts it, “receptive to the presence of the other, to really . . . entertaining the reality of the other person.” Artful listening, then, offers a deeper connection between the individuals.

Listening to the totality of the speaker, says McCall, “opens up the space for anything to come out of the conversation, even things that you weren’t aware of.” The speaker begins to communicate from their depth, showing up in authenticity. There’s an unconditionality about the process, and the speaker feels understood and appreciated.

After a conversation where the listener has been fully present and the speaker feels deeply heard, both people feel energized. They feel good, and may be sorry to have the conversation end. They’re not sure what just happened, but feel peaceful and uplifted at the same time. They may experience a sensation of vibration in body and mind.

According to McCall, scientists are beginning to determine what happens when people really communicate with one other. There’s a release of endorphins within the body. There is an energy exchange, and “Our energy fields change.” Listening to the entirety of the person’s communication releases the speaker from a negative frame of reference. “It’s like our two energies—our two systems—combine. . . We both become larger. . .”

You Only Need Another Person to Boost Energy!

Think of it—to get an energy boost and create well-being in yourself and others, you need only practice good listening. Imagine how much more energy you would have if you increased your listening capacity as little as 10%. Listening is simple, and it’s not easy. If it were, everyone would be doing it better than 25%.

So how do you become a masterful listener? The Institute for Global Listening and Communication (TIGLC) has broken listening down into an understandable set of skills. They teach the skills in an experiential workshop called—simply—The Listening Course. TIGLC’s vision is to have 100 million masterful listeners by the year 2020. Won’t you join us in improving energy and well-being in the world? Go to www.listeningprofitsu.com and explore the possibilities!

Susan Rosenberg is a freelance writer living in Maryland. She is Vice President of Foggy Bottom Information Systems, and a certified trainer in The Listening Course, a workshop offered through The Institute for Global Listening and Communication. She can be reached at susan.rosenberg@adelphia.net.