Saving Marriage After Baby: Marital Problems After Baby - Save Your Marriage Now!

If you type "post baby marriage" or "baby proof your marriage" or "marriage after baby" into Google, you'll be greeted with plenty of websites and blogs telling you in list format how to make sure you stay connected to your spouse. That's all fine and dandy, but I read all these lists before having my daughter and they were pretty useless once she arrived, not because the information was bad but because when I wanted to yell at my husband for not cleaning the kitchen or not getting out of bed fast enough or just not being around, I never, not once, thought back to one of those lists.

But what are the magic secrets for baby proofing your marriage? I'll spare you another long list and distill my thoughts into three steps:

1) Be best friends. Those three words will undoubtedly save a marriage. Unfortunately, getting to those three words can take a lot of work if you weren't best friends before the baby came along. Note that I didn't say "be best lovers." Instead, for a few months revel in being an old married couple and work on your friendship.

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2) Have good faith. Assume your partner has good intentions instead of interpreting everything he/she says or does as a dig against you or a sign of his/her incompetence. This is something my husband and I are still working on, but when we say the term "good faith" to the other person, it acts as a kind of verbal code prompting us to reevaluate how we are communicating.

3) Get your child's sleep under control. I don't mean picking cry-it-out or co-sleeping. I don't care if you let your baby scream at one month (but I don't recommend this) and I don't care if you get up with him/her five times a night at one year (but I don't recommend this either). The way you get your child's sleep under control is not important. Rather, you and your spouse need to be on the same page AND one person should not be solely responsible for soothing your child at night, even if a mom is still nursing. In my unscientific survey, 95% of post baby arguments revolve around sleep. Communicate your needs, expectations, and goals very early in your child's life.

Sleep deprivation combined with unclear goals, lack of good faith, and a rocky friendship can spell disaster for your marriage. However, remembering that your marriage is a partnership, not a competition, and articulating your emotions without fear of judgment can keep your marriage strong, whether you sleep or not.

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Marriage is a bond of love, understanding and acceptance. When couples get married, they expect to lead a happy life with each other. However, you must remember that marriage in not only about sharing romance and joys. In fact, it is about sharing life in totality; sorrows and joys together. In the course of marriage, you cannot expect that things would always remain perfect for you. Sometimes your marriage may require repair just as mechanical things do. It may need some fine tuning as your bond with your spouse does undergo several phases. You may sometimes encounter misunderstandings, irritations, disloyalty or lack of care and concern form your partner. These are natural things which almost every couple faces in their life time.

After a passage of time, marriage requires maintenance. This is because when you stay with each other all the time, you tend to take your spouse for granted at times. You must remember that marriage is like a continuous course of assurance and love. It is not a relationship of a few years in which you can have fun and then say adieu to your partner and select another. It is a life time relationship which needs to be nurtured by constant care, commitment, tolerance, and sacrifice.

If your marriage is waning, you must repair your bond. It is not as hard as it seems on the out front. You can follow some simple things which can set your relationship right back.

To begin with, you must learn to listen to your spouse. This is the mistake which people often make as they only want to talk and never listen what the other party has got to say. It results in widening gaps and building communication gap further.

You also need to handle issues with maturity. See to the actual causes of a conflict and do not rush to blame your spouse.

Before taking any decision pertaining to your marriage, think about the effect it would have on your kids. Your right or wrong decision can influence your children's entire life.

It is natural to have problems in relationship. However, a mature and solution oriented approach can set your marriage right.

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When you have to ask yourself, "Can my husband love me again", you just might be at the end of the line in your relationship. It is never good to live with a bad marriage, but if you handle things in an appropriate manner you just might be able to restore the love and affection both of you had in the beginning.

Even though you thing you are the only one asking this question, your husband must be feeling the separation between the both of you and more than likely will be more than willing to make the necessary changes in order to make things work. But sorry to say that if he is not willing to help with the situation than you will be fighting a losing battle.

One thing you need to be careful about is the habit of trying to over compensate when something starts to fall apart. Women are more commonly the healers even when it is a relationship that needs healing. Sometimes women can try a little to hard and might seem a little needy. Don't get me wrong men can be the same way. But coming off this way can push your husband farther away the more you cling. So when problems come up just talk to him calmly about them before they get big.

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On the opposite site women can sometimes pull back and protect themselves once things cool down because they think something bad will come out of it and they try to shield themselves from the pain they like is coming their way. You both need to talk honestly and openly about everything especially the things that bother you before they become big problems. Talk about what is bothering you, your feelings, and why you are pulling back. Communication is any relationship will go a long way.

Even though most men seem rough and tough they aren't that much different than women. They also want to be loved and appreciated. It's a two way street and if you won't talk through your problems it won't be a problem much longer.

So the answer to your question, "Can my husband love me again", is yes. Even though he probably never stopped loving you in the first place. Sometimes we just take things for granted, even when it comes to another human being.

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There can be many reasons why your marriage is on the rocks and failing, and you could be making tons of mistakes in your marriage without even realizing it. Do you know what your wife really wants in her marriage with you? Can you really save your own marriage with the woman you love?So what are the best things to do to show a woman that you're a great catch?

1. Take extra care in your grooming.

This is the first item on the list because it's the most important. Good grooming shows other people that you care enough about yourself to do basic physical maintenance. That means your hair isn't shaggy and unkempt (unless that's a deliberate style choice), your clothes aren't wrinkled or dirty, and your nails are clipped and clean.

That doesn't mean you have to go overboard and be something you're not - your clothes should be clean, but they should also be items that you feel comfortable wearing. If you're clean-shaven, then you shouldn't be stubbly on a date, and if you have a beard or mustache then they should be neatly trimmed.

And above all, make sure you smell good - shower and use deodorant. Remember that splashing on cologne is no substitute for a hot shower.

2. Make her laugh.

That doesn't mean that you should turn into a Catskills comedian on your date. But if you have a good sense of humor, use it!

Polls consistently show that women find humor the most attractive thing about a man, above looks, money or an impressive career. Laughing together is an intimate act, and boosts endorphin levels. So if you can get her laughing, she'll see you as a potential mate all the quicker.

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3. Don't give her a list of your faults. It's become a common thing for people to 'fess up to all of their flaws and bad behavior, thinking that it makes them look charmingly honest for admitting to their flaws.

But look at it this way - if you were trying to sell a car, would you lead off by talking about the lousy gas mileage, the uncomfortable seats and the leaky sunroof? She'll see your bad side soon enough. In the beginning, avoid talking too much about why you're not a great catch - because she might believe you.

4. Care about what she has to say.

Far too many men think that making a good impression means talking about themselves all night. And yes, you should tell her about your job and talk about the things that interest you. But ask her about her job, too, and her interests and her family and anything else that you can think of. Then remember what she tells you.

If you're on your third or fourth date and you remember that she loves a certain band or that her father recently had an operation, she'll be impressed that you cared enough to pay attention to what she had to say - you might be shocked at how few men understand how important that is.

5. Pick up the check.

It doesn't really matter what you, your friends or your date feel about women's issues - most women are old-fashioned when it comes to who pays on a date. Once you've won her heart, the two of you can split all the checks you like.

In the beginning, though, you should absolutely, positively pay for dinner. If she's really insistent about paying her share, tell her she can get the check next time or tell her she can pay for the movie and you'll take car of dinner. But whatever you do, don't split a check, especially on the very first date - it makes you look cheap, and you'll lose points.

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6. Don't talk about old girlfriends or ex-wives.

This ties into #3 above. You shouldn't hide the fact that you've had other relationships, but you shouldn't talk about them much, either, especially if you don't have anything nice to say.

If you're harboring anger towards the women in your past, that can make you look bitter and petty in the eyes of your new flame. If you say too many good things about an ex, on the other hand, she may wonder if you have unresolved feelings for your ex. Discretion, as they say, is the better part of valor - there's a reason why etiquette experts have always said that a gentleman doesn't discuss his past conquests!

7. Be true to your word.

Women value honesty, and many become a bit gun-shy about dating after having had their trust betrayed by men they care about. So do what you say you will - like, say, call her the next day - and follow through on your commitments.

That means that you should be on time for dates and do everything you promise you'll do, whether it's pick up Chinese food for dinner or come over to meet her parents. If you don't show her that you can be trusted, at best she'll think you're a flake - at worst she'll assume that you're a liar who could be cheating on her or worse. A trustworthy man is a catch, and worth his weight in gold - so be that guy and win her heart!

Saying or doing the wrong thing can actually cause your spouse to feel even more distant from you. You can make your spouse fall back in love with you, all over again.

You don't have to worry about whether your spouse is on the brink of asking you for a divorce. You can control the situation and use specific techniques to naturally make them fall hopelessly in love with you.

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