Second Marriage Problems and How To Handle Them: How To Do Second Marriage Without Divorce

Although you might think practice makes perfect, that's not true statistically when it comes to marriage. In fact, the divorce rate increases fairly substantially for second and third marriages. According to DivorceRate.org, the divorce rate for first marriages in America is about 41 percent. For second marriages, the divorce rate increases to 60 percent and it skyrockets to a whopping 73 percent for third marriages.

So what is it that makes second and third marriages even less likely to last than first? There are certainly lots of possibilities about what makes them more likely to dissolve. Often, it is a combination of complicated factors that can lead a second and third divorce.

The Grass is Always Greener Philosophy

Sometimes people just assume that things are always better elsewhere. They jump ship when the going gets rough. These are the people who fall in love fast and hard. But, when the love seems a little intense, their mind (and eyes) might begin to wander. As they daydream about how life could be better elsewhere, they put in less effort in their marriage. This can lead to divorce followed by jumping into a new relationship quickly. It can be a cycle that gets repeated over and over.

Unresolved Grief

Jumping into a new marriage too soon after divorce doesn't usually bode well. Loneliness, sadness, fear and financial problems are often temporarily solved when people dive into a new relationship. The excitement and emotional high can cause them to overlook compatibility issues with a new partner.

It's important to spend plenty of time grieving the end of the first marriage before jumping into the second. There is no exact timeline that says you can't date for a certain number of months or years. Instead, it's important to really focus on healing before moving on, no matter how long that takes.

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Partial Commitment

Imagine if a martial artist was going to chop a board in half but only partially committed to his karate chop. It likely wouldn't work out for him. Well the same can be said when people enter into a marriage with only partial commitment.

Whether it is because they felt wronged in the first marriage or they are just a little gun shy about getting married again, many people enter into a second marriage with a little hesitation about committing fully. They are more likely to have more assets than they did the first time around and they might have difficulty sharing. Many people don't share bank accounts or money the second time around.

Entering into a marriage with one foot already out the door isn't a good way to get things started. When people are remarrying, it is important to be able to be fully committed to the relationship in order for it to have the best chance in working out.

Not Having Biological Children Together

Since many couples remarry when they are a little older, they often don't have children together. Without children, some couples feel less like a family. This can cause them to feel less committed to keeping the family intact. They also might not worry about the impact that a divorce would have on any children they have from a previous marriage.

Blended Family Issues

When couples have children from previous marriages, it can be difficult. Loyalty issues sometimes abound and one side of the family gets pitted against the other. This can take a toll on the marriage. Raising step-children isn't easy and parents need to be well-prepared for how to live in a blended family.

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Independence

Many people these days are just more independent than ever before. It's not a bad thing to be independent, but it can certainly free people up to get divorced. With more women in the work place, women are less financially dependent on husbands.

Some couples however can be too independent. When someone is used to doing things a certain way and isn't really interested in compromising, it can prevent a couple from really becoming joined as one. It's important to develop a balance between independence and dependence in a marriage. Otherwise, you run the risk of becoming more like roommates than partners.

Attitude Toward Divorce

Sometimes a person's attitude about divorce changes a little after they've been divorced once. When people think, "I've been through it once and lived," it can make divorce seem like it's not such a bad option. This can be especially true by the time the third one comes along. In fact, by the third divorce, people might come to expect it is going to happen.

When divorce doesn't seem like such a bad option, it can make some people put a little less effort into preserving and saving the marriage. When things get rough, instead of trying to fix it, they jump ship with the attitude of "oh well." Keeping a marriage strong takes hard work and dedication, which means a willingness to ride out the storms.

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Marriages are relationships based on love, commitment, and common purpose; however, every day hundreds of couples decide to call it quits and get a divorce. There are a lot of reasons why marriages don't work, but some of these reasons are common to the majority of broken marriages. Some couples learn to work out their differences, and others don't. By knowing the common pitfalls, maybe you'll be able to avoid them in your own union.

Dishonesty and lack of trust are one of the main reasons marriages fall apart. It's next to impossible to live side by side and maintain cohesive lives if one spouse doesn't trust the other. This is true on both sides of the coin, too. First of all, if there is reason not to trust, if one partner constantly lies to the other or if one spouse betrays the other with infidelity, how can this marriage get stronger and continue to grow?

On the other side, if one spouse continues to harbor unfounded suspicious of their partner and thinks he or she is cheating on them even when the problem doesn't actually exist, trust has broken down, and the marriage will ultimately fail. To make your relationship long-lasting, develop a strong, honest trust and pursue it all of your lives together.

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Blaming every problem in your marriage on your spouse instead of accepting partial responsibility is going to shove you apart every time. Since few problems rest on the shoulders of just one invididual, that person is bound to get tired of being the scapegoat. For some reason, lots of people can't seem to admit that they aren't perfect, and this creates a bone of contention between them and their partner.

Maybe you've heard stories of older men who marry young girls so that they will be able to control them. Controlling behavior in either spouse is going to take its toll. No one likes to feel that they're being controlled, and this feeling of discontent will continue to grow as long as the behavior is present. Eventually something is going to give, and it will most likely be the bonds of your marriage.

A breakdown of communication is the most major contributor causing failed marriages. You have to talk to each other in order to stay in touch and continue to grow in your relationship. If you see that you and your spouse aren't talking like you used to do, now is the time to do something about it.

Such things as abuse, violence, and addiction can ruin a marriage quicker than anything else. Although one spouse may put up with this sort of treatment for awhile, the fabric of the partnership is already in tatters after it happens the first time. Be fair to your significant other and always treat them the way you yourself want to be treated.

Are you tired of living in a relationship in which you feel neglected? Many married people find themselves feeling alone and rejected by their spouse. If you feel taken for granted, there's a way to change that now.

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Are things feeling distant in your relationship to the point where you are worried that your spouse may ask for a divorce? The love has faded and you are thinking that it will never be the same again. You too can rescue your union, like many others have, and go back to having a beautiful relationship again. The first step towards a rehabilitating healthy marriage is to understand why the marriage has fallen apart.

According to most relationship experts, the largest contributing factor to marriage failure results from lack of communication and/or poor conflict resolution skills. A healthy relationship absolutely requires communication in order to thrive; and the couple must possess adequate conflict resolution skills in order to successfully deal with any issues that may arise. Couples who enjoy strong and happy marriages generally have excellent communication and are able to successfully resolve any conflicts that occur. However, those couples who are struggling with the relationship frequently refuse to acknowledge that these are areas they may actually be lacking in. If a couple is shown how to fix their troubles and they really work on it, they will end up having a good, happy marriage.

It may seem difficult to practice new methods of communicating at first, but studies prove that healthy communication is highly efficacious in calming tensions which arise from disconnectedness. If you want to save your marriage then you must learn from what others have experienced; you can then base your own resolution of conflict and communication on this knowledge. Remember, that marriage is a wonderful gift and should be treasured. You have to do anything you can possibly do in order to get your marriage back on track. Divorce is not always the ideal solution to the issues happening in you marriage. It may take time and hard work to mend you marriage but you must recall that every marriage is worth saving.

Couples can love one another and yet find themselves drifting apart and headed for a divorce. There are steps you can take, with or without the aid of your spouse to get your marriage back into the loving place it once was.

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During marriage, things start out pretty well; but at some point of time, both the couples do begin to question each other's feelings. When this feeling starts, then it will be only downhill. Therefore, what would you do to save your marriage and to make your husband love you and what would you do when you get a feel of "my spouse wants a divorce"?

In a marriage, taking each other for granted will never work. If your husband does not love you anymore, this mean that your husband was taking you for granted. This might happen because people will always like to have the things that they can't easily have. When your husband takes you for granted, it means that you are easily accessible to him and this will mean the murder of his very love for you. Your husband might take you for granted because, well, you are married and there isn't any way for you to get out of the relationship as "you see fit", as you have signed the papers and pledged your entire life to him. During this time, you have to do some things in order to win back his love when you get the feel of "my spouse wants a divorce".

Some of the natural laws don't have to work for you disadvantage. You have to make use of this situation and turn it around in that you can win back your husband's love. For example: don't be accessible to your husband the whole day and go out along with your friends so that he doubts about your whereabouts. You should resist yourself from showing unquestioning love towards him. These things will surely help you out in winning back your husband's love when he is not in love with you anymore. This process has worked for many women. When your marriage is in trouble and you want to win back your husband's love or affection, you have to try all the very best methods that are laid out by experienced people.

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Author's Bio: 

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Divorce does not have to be your only option. Even if it feels as though your relationship can't be saved because of the ongoing conflicts between you and your spouse, it can be. There are techniques that you can begin using today that will not only stop a divorce, but will help also you build a stronger and more loving marriage.

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