Seven Tips for Fostering the Role of Fatherhood

A father figure provides a tremendous boost to the development of children. Recently, social research has been showing just how much kids need their dads. Children with active fathers learn to read faster, demonstrate more empathy, are less likely to take illegal drugs and are more likely to reach high levels of education. However, fathers can sometimes have difficulty breaking out of social and cultural boundaries. Many grown men still harbor deep sadness regarding the separation they’ve always felt between them and their fathers. Many men possess a nurturing, caring nature, which gives them a unique ability to connect with their children. This connection will be invaluable to both the development of the child and the father. One well known social worker once said, “A man hasn’t fully matured until he has dedicated himself to something outside of himself”. Here are some habits that fathers can adopt to cultivate the skills of fatherhood: 1. Listen When your child talks, listen. Stop what you are doing. Refuse to focus on anything else besides your child. Many fathers listen with half an ear, but remember that when children speak, they are trying to tell you who they are and what they need. Listen to your child with the same respect you would give anyone. According to some findings from the University of Cincinnati's applied behavior analysis certification program, the best listeners are actually the ones who ask good questions. Invest your energy in crafting a good question, not a good answer. 2. Teach By Example "Do as I say, not as I do" is a terrible way to parent. Children learn by example, so always set a good one for your child. If you want them to be honest, don't lie. If you want them to be active, be active yourself. This is perhaps the best way to teach a child. 3. Make the Time Being a father takes time. It is not a badge that you win over one weekend playing catch with your child. One week in Disney World with the family is nothing compared to regular time spent doing simple things around the home. Instead, it is something that is earned over the long-term, with regular interaction and consistency. 4. Talk It Out The world is a frightening and confusing place for your child. When they are confused, it is your responsibility as a father to step in and explain it to them. Studies show that avoiding difficult subjects can hinder a child's social and intellectual development. Speak with them about these topics and give them the information that they need. 5. See them as They Can Become Helping them see who they can become doesn’t mean deciding their life path. Parents who push their children toward a certain career, sport, or talent rob their children of the power to choose. Freedom to choose is essential to child growth and development. Children need help developing a vision of who they can become. That vision can come most powerfully from a father. Help them aim high. Get to know what aspirations they hold, give them opportunities to discover their abilities, and encourage the heck out of them. Help them see past their mistakes. Do everything you can to help them see a special greatness within them no matter what they do. 6. Love Them in Their Language Tell your children that you love them, and make gestures to show them. It is natural for men to express fatherly, loving emotions, and even if it does not come easily for you, it is an important thing for you to practice. Write it in a note, give hugs, or just say it. You may have heard of the 5 love languages before. Though popularly applied to marriages, this completely applies to parenting. Your child may receive love through physical touch in which case a good wrestling match or watching a movie on the couch together may be intensely meaningful for them. If your child receives love through quality time, you may want to block out time to play with them and their toys. 7. Think of Them Thinking of your children is a simple way to really hit your stride as a father. You don't stop being a father when your children are far away or at school. Think of them, plan to do things with them, and let them know you are thinking of them. Fatherhood is not easy, but it is worthy, and you can get better than you are now. If you are active, committed, and loving, you will find a connection with your children that is more meaningful than most anything life has to give.