Sexual Desire in Long-term Relationships: A Mind-Expanding 3-Question Quiz about Sex

We hear it all the time, how sex in marriage or long-term relationships fades or dies out altogether. One or both partners lose their sexual desire. Passion is a forgotten memory. Making love becomes an obligation or an afterthought.

But does it have to be that way? Take this quiz and see if you still agree that good sex is best left to the young honeymooners!

1. Is it true that your sex life is basically over once you have kids? (Or are in your forties, or fifties, or some other age?)

Answer: Wrong! In fact, once the initial hot flush of passion is gone, that’s the time to get busy really getting to know one another as erotic partners. Making love is always easy at the beginning of the relationship; you have all kinds of “love chemicals” percolating around that get you excited just thinking about each other. Once the chemical bonding has tied you together, you should be able to build the trust that is required for deeper sexual exploration. As long as you keep an open mind and communicate your sexual wants and needs to each other, you should be able to enjoy a great sexual relationship over the years.

2. Once the early infatuation has worn off, isn’t sex just an obligation?

Answer: Wrong! In fact, once the initial hot flush of passion is gone, that’s the time to get busy really getting to know one another as erotic partners. Making love is always easy at the beginning of the relationship; you have all kinds of “love chemicals” percolating around that get you excited just thinking about each other. Once the chemical bonding has tied you together, you should be able to build the trust that is required for deeper sexual exploration. As long as you keep an open mind and communicate your sexual wants and needs to each other, you should be able to enjoy a great sexual relationship over the years.

3. Don’t you need to be young and in great shape to keep your partner interested?

Answer: False! If you have a loving relationship, then unless your partner is morbidly obese, you will continue to enjoy sex with him or her. (And of course, there are those who are attracted to very overweight partners.) The key words are “loving relationship.” By respecting and listening to your partner, instead of criticizing or stonewalling, you will keep creating strong feelings of love and even passion. Those feelings become expressed in the bedroom when you make love. If your partner reciprocates and acts in an equally loving way, you aren’t going to care much about crow’s feet and a bit of a potbelly. Remember, though, that part of being a loving partner is loving yourself, so of course you want to do what you can to stay vital and attractive over your lifetime.

It is possible to keep passion and desire alive in long-term relationships. Be sure to nurture loving feelings, communicate about your sexual wants and needs as they change, and put time and energy into your sex life if you want to stay together and be lovers as long as possible.