Should I marry him or live with him? The time has come to make an enormous decision, one that will change my life for years if not forever. My boyfriend of six years has suggested that we get married. He has also said that maybe it is better to live together and we should both have a think about it and then decide between us. For one month we are both to give it a lot of thought and then talk about it together and make a joint decision.

The thing is that I am quite happy with it as it is, I see nothing to be gained from living together or marrying. In fact, I fear that I might lose out. I have seen my female friends getting married and living with guys and then regretting it because they get tied down with a baby while he is out at work all day, or they were expected to become the obedient housewife who keeps the place tidy, or they were supposed to put the man on a pedestal and worship him as if he is the only thing that matters in their life. I am used to seeing a lot of my family and friends when I want, not when he says I can go out and watching what time I come back. I fear that settling down together like that will change things for the worst and change what is expected of me.

To get things in perspective I went to see a few relationship experts and discussed it with them. Of course, this can be a long process because they want to know a lot of stuff like your past, background, thoughts about life in general, previous experiences with other men that may come into it and so on. To give it enough time to work through it would take years if only going once a month for an hour, so I tried going to see someone once a week, and still it was too slow. Maybe I was too secretive or not open enough, but it just seemed to be like a total waste of time.

Discussing it with friends is better because they know all of this stuff already but many of them are not very good at advice or understanding or they are biased by their own lives and can be too judgmental.So I have realised I must keep it to myself. Up to now I thought my guy was my best friend and we discussed anything and everything but I can hardly go to him and ask him for advice on this.

My view is that when you are unsure it is best to carry on dating, maybe move in together, but certainly not getting married. And you can change your mind as things progress, deciding to get married if you are living together very successfully for at least two years maybe. No way am I going to let him push me into doing things before I am ready to or feeling like I must to please him.

It had to happen, it is always the same whatever the person is. They might appear to be laid back but they usually want a commitment, and that sort of thing has never really figured as being important. With me if I like someone I carry on liking them until they do something wrong to ruin it, I do not need to make promises of eternal love and I cannot know it will be forever, because they may change and start to let me down or hurt me.

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Author's Bio: 

Beth Shepherd psychic readings, therapy and relationship advice. 40 years of experience, tried, tested and trusted by experts, celebrities, newspapers and magazines. http://www.accuratepsychicreadingsonline.com/psychic-email-reading