Should We Teach Our Children to Fight Back

A common mistake that parents make, is to encourage their kids to fight back in situations when they are being bullied by other kids. Probably disappointed by the inability and aversion of their schools and teachers to adequately cope with the problem or disappointed by harassing kids, they consider that fighting back will serve as the lesson the bully needs to end the harassment and see that the other kid is anything but a feckless mama's boy. Do you think this is the proper manner of action in this situation? Would it be better if the child report the issue to his teachers? Мost likely what will happen next is a repeat of the harassment by the bully, perhaps even more fiercely than before. Teacher’s reprimand would probably have the opposite effect and emerge into a greater fury against the bullied kid. Still, all psychologists and pediatricians are of unanimous opinion that teaching a child to fight back could never be a good thing and soon there will be bad consequences for both sides. Moreover, this wayward approach leaves the decision when is the right time to fight back up to the child’s discretion. You are not going to be there and determine that. Instead, parents and teachers should inculcate in their offspring helpful advices regarding how to prevent conflict and proper ways to sooth the confrontation before it escalates into something physical.rnIf your kid is being constantly bullied, instead of teaching it to fight back, you might follow these effective and time-tested tips, consisting in: Establishing a close relationship between you and the child When children consider their parents as friends, they feel much more comfortable to share their thoughts and issues with them. Every time they are being bullied at school or notice signs of threat to their safety, they will speak to their parents about it. Focus on the perpetrator’s associates too Understand that normally every perpetrator has a backup of a few individuals who are always participating in these quarrels. Focus on them to get a better understanding of the harasser’s behavior and eventually prevent threatening attitude by his friends. Require an intervention of the school authorities A meeting and discussion between parents and the school authorities -- teacher, principal -- would be quite useful. Аnd most importantly, this way both parties would be involved in the problem, in particular the parents of the child advancing the harassment. They should also be called in the school for discussion and brought to understand the risks and effects of their children’s bad behavior.