Should You Tell Your Spouse Everything: Should You Tell Your Partner Everything About Your Past.

Are you married? Do you have a secret? Do you keep secrets from your spouse? Do you lead a double life? Why do you not get divorced? Why does your spouse not suspect? If you have answered yes or no to any of these questions, read on.

Marriage today is complicated. Both partners need to be employed to make ends meet. This causes stress on the family unit. Children still need their parents love, attention and most of all need to feel special and secure.

When you are in a long term marriage and you feel your life is on track - why rock the boat? Do you really look for reasons to make yourself unhappy? As long as life runs smoothly on a day to day basis, you and the children are happy - what could happen?

When a spouse becomes ill, is in an accident or dies now is the time the blinders can come off. You really begin to know your partner. When you start going through their clothes and personal papers the life they have lived will start to unravel. Nobody can keep a family secret forever.

They could have been:

(1) Gay

(2) Drugs

(3) Alcohol

(4) Gambler

(5) Affair

(6) Sex Maniac

(7) Other

Your spouse could even have a second family somewhere in the world and you never knew about it. Not everybody's marriage needs to have secrets and fantasies but keep your eyes and ears open for any sign of deception. Rock the boat. Ask questions before it is too late.

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Having your marriage end suddenly when you do not want it to can be quite the stressful experience. You may feel like the world is coming to an end and you may reminisce about the good times in your marriage; allowing you to become very emotional. I have been there before and I know exactly how it feels, and how much the pressure can get to you.

Don't let this discourage you however. Do your best to stay as positive as possible if you really want to save your marriage. Too many people suffer from what they call the three D's - depression, desperation and devastation. Allowing this to affect you can be dangerous to your marriage as nothing good can prevail from that kind of mindset.

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Unfortunately, I have suffered from the three D's and went for some desperate measures to try to save my marriage. My wife could tell I was trying too hard to save it when I began begging and pleading with her non-stop. It only made me look pathetic and I could see my wife getting more and more fed up with me. I was very lucky to be able to turn this situation around.

I was able to save my marriage when I realized what I was doing wrong. The begging routine only made things worse and I understand why now. These actions only make you look weak and undesirable because it shows that you are someone that is easy to have. People always strive to get the things that they cannot easily have. Remember this.

Once you recognize this and learn how to control your emotions effectively, you have made your first step in saving your marriage from ruins. As long as you can quit the crying and pleading you will be able to take the next step of saving your marriage.

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You had an affair, and even though it's over, your spouse is still threatening divorce. You can chastise yourself 24/7 and beat yourself up mentally because of the results of your impetuous indiscretion, but unless you take some positive steps towards saving your marriage, you're going to find yourself out on your ear before long. It is possible to save a marriage after an affair, especially if both partners are committed to making the union work. If you can honestly say that your affair was a one-time thing, that you know you'll never make the mistake again, and that you truly love your spouse, then you might just have a chance. To learn how to save a marriage after an affair, you may need the help of a marriage expert.

The biggest problems that your spouse is dealing with after your affair has come to light is feelings of distrust and picking up the pieces of a shattered ego. Imagine how you would feel if it had happened to you. You can no longer trust the person you vowed to love until death, and you're feeling a lot of negative vibes because you know there must be something wrong with you that caused your spouse to cheat on you. You have to expect your partner to spend some time venting and even hollering just to get some of the pain and anger off of his or her chest. If you allow yourself the luxury of screaming back or responding with some harsh words, you're only going to defeat your purpose.

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Saving your marriage is going to take time. A marriage coach can help you develop the patience you are going to need in order to succeed. It won't do to try for a week or two and then tell yourself, "It's never going to work out again." However, if you persevere and take the course of action your coach will give you, you'll find that your marriage can be brought back to be even stronger than it was originally. This isn't saying that it won't take years for your spouse to truly trust you again, but it will happen someday.

Saving a marriage after an affair can be tricky business, but if you are prepared to be patient and persevere while working closely with a marriage coach, your relationship can be saved, and there can be a happily ever after.

Couples can love one another and yet find themselves drifting apart and headed for a divorce. There are steps you can take, with or without the aid of your spouse to get your marriage back into the loving place it once was.

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Extramarital affairs have now extended to the Internet. Be very careful about it and do not succumb to the temptation of starting an online affair. You might argue that it can't be considered a real affair due to the distance and the lack of physical contact, but the addiction you get out of it can destroy the very foundation of your marriage, in accordance with a video on marriage counseling.

What Is An Online Affair?

Online affair can take its various forms. There are so many mediums in the Internet where you can meet somebody and start a friendly conversation with. It usually starts as a harmless chat and you do not even have to see the person on the other end.

Be careful, though, because it could be called a cyber affair because of your addiction to chatting with the other person. Rather than devoting your free time with your partner, you'd rather spend it on the internet with somebody else. The excitement and the desire to "be with" the other person is enough to shake the foundation of your marriage. In marriage counseling, you'll realize how important it is to spend some quality time with your partner. Don't allow online chatting to take that precious time that you're supposed to share with your partner.

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It Gets Worse

The worse thing is when you could actually see the other person on the internet, which is referred to as video chatting. In this kind of cyber affair, you can talk freely person to person about anything under the sun. It's dangerous because there's a form of some emotional investment in it. You get to share your life story with the other person.

Moreover, there's some pseudo-sex involved because you could actually get sexual online. It's all the more that you could get thrilled and start a conversation with sexual content. In marriage counseling, you'll learn that some of the divorce is in fact caused by online affairs. So don't be fooled by it and think that it's harmless only because of the distance. There are lots of instances when an online affair led to an actual affair where couples meet live face to face.

Online Pornography

Online pornography can also shake your marriage. When one of you gets addicted to online pornography, the other spouse might feel sexually inadequate because of too much time you spend watching online pornography. True, you can watch it together to make your sex lives more exciting, but once you invest so much time in it, that you spend less time with your spouse, then that is a problem.

In the marriage counseling video, you will realize that there is always the possibility of you getting attached to a model in online pornography. That in a way can be called a cyber affair.

As a married couple, there are a lot of things that you need to watch out for in order to have a strong marriage. Marriage counseling is going to teach you to be always vigilant on the external temptations, including online, because there are a few dangers attached to it.

Now Listen Carefully-

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Author's Bio: 

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