Skip to content
Article

Signs Of Abusive Relationships: Conditioning that Kills From The Inside Out In Abusive Relationships

Written by Dr. Jeanne King, Ph.D.

Topic: Abuse and RecoveryPublished September 25, 2008
No ratings yet889 viewsSign in to rate
We know the drama of domestic abuse from the outside looking in, as it is popularized by the media and by entertainment mediums. But the silent insidious inner deaths that take place are more pervasive and, and in some cases, more debilitating for the domestic abuse survivor.nnWhat are the inner deaths of domestic violence? 1) You are not the source of your peace. Your well-being does not and cannot come from within; rather it is a function of your interpersonal cooperation with your abusive partner. 2) Your instincts, your inner knowing, your inner voice lies, cannot be relied upon and must take second to information provided by others...by others vested with control. 3) Your dreams, hopes and aspirations are games you play with yourself; thus, you must not invest your resources in these inconsequential past times. 4) Enjoyment and pleasures you derive in your life are made possible by opportunities and experiences given to you by your controlling partner. The long and the short of this is: you do not have the keys to create your own. If you encounter any, or all, of these four deaths within yourself while in your relationship, seek to look at the larger dynamics of the relationship. Such deaths are fundamentally you enlisting in your own ultimate psychological demise. Seek to understand the dynamics of abusive relationships and the subtle communication patterns of couples entangled in domestic abuse. Doing so could help you prevent any or all of the four inner deaths domestic abuse survivors frequently know.

Article author

About the Author

For a deeper understanding of what keeps emotional verbal abuse going and ultimately what stops it, visit www.PreventAbusiveRelationships.com. Dr. Jeanne King, Ph.D. is founding director of nonprofit Partners in Prevention, dedicated to helping domestic abuse survivors and their advocates. © 2008 Jeanne King, Ph.D.

Further reading

Further Reading

4 total

Article

A transformative, evidence-informed recovery framework integrating cognitive reframing, truth, purpose, resilience, community, and self-determination to help individuals overcome addiction, reconstruct identity, strengthen wellbeing, and transform lived experience into meaningful contribution.

September 27, 2026

Website

13th Step is a dating app built by and for people in recovery. We connect sober singles seeking meaningful relationships in a judgment-free community where sobriety comes first, always.

September 25, 2026

Article

The article explains that narcissistic entitlement is the belief that one deserves special treatment. It highlights behaviors like selfish demands, blaming others, and difficulty accepting criticism, while emphasizing the importance of setting boundaries and protecting your own wellbeing.

August 18, 2026

Article

Opioid addiction has become one of the biggest health challenges in the United States. Many people struggle with dependence on prescription painkillers or drugs like heroin, and finding effective treatment can feel overwhelming. In the past, treatment often required visiting clinics in person, which could be difficult for those with busy schedules, transportation issues, or fears about stigma. These barriers often stop people from getting the help they need. Thankfully, telem

December 9, 2025