6 Simple Steps to Keep Your Anger in Check

Do you find yourself angry most of the time?  Yes, I will agree that there are many valid reasons to get angry but what does it really accomplish?  Anger usually hurts us more than anyone else.  We increase our cortisol levels and that can start a host of negative reactions within our body.  We may also carry the negative vibe around all day.  When we do that we are letting others hold space in our body and steal our joy.  Here are a few things to consider:

1. Anger can be a problem.  Did you know 80% of our anger is directed at people we are close to.  Instead of lashing out in anger or fear, take 30-90 seconds to breathe.  Most intense emotions will begin to ease after 90 seconds.  Ask yourself what you are really mad at, then talk to the person and share your feeling.  Even if the person continues the behavior that upset you, you ultimately decide how to respond.

2. Keep a log.  Start writing down what triggers your anger.  Rate your anger on a scale from 1-10 and any actions that you may want to take.  An example would be if you want to key the neighbors’ car or slap your boss.  Then write down how you actually responded.  Look back on the log when you are calm and see how you could have responded in a calmer way.

3. Don't react when angry.  Again, take a breath and wait 90 seconds.  Calm down before you do anything.  If you feel you need to respond, draft an email, write a letter or vent to a friend (make it clear you are only in need of a listening ear not advice) but let it sit overnight before you send it.  Usually once we have marinated on a situation we will deal with it more effectively and nicer than we would have in the heat of the moment.

4. Put yourself first.  Are you stressed, hungry, not feeling well or upset about something in your life?  Sometimes these things can make us extra sensitive to others negative energy.  Take care of what you need so you feel strong, supported and vibrant.  When you do this, rarely can someone else make you angry because their attitude becomes irrelevant. 

5. Empathize.  Remember that we are all fighting our own battles.  While this doesn't make it okay for people to treat you poorly it will lesson the sting of a sharp tongue.  Anger is usually never about you but the person who is angry.  So if someone is lashing out at you that's their problem projected onto you.  If you are the angry one lashing out at others, then evaluate what is really upsetting you and ask for help.  No one can read your mind but they can read your energy.

6. Establish Boundaries.  It may be time to do some work.  We all need boundaries, those things that cannot be crossed and may be deal breakers for relationships whether romantic, peer or friendship etc.  It's also important to remember that you teach people how to treat you.  Ultimately it is your responsibility to keep your anger in check.  That doesn't mean that you are a doormat but you don't want people or circumstances to throw you off center.  You should strive to stay in a state of joy and happiness.  Address the things that you can change and let everything else go.

Julia T. King

Author's Bio: 

Julia is an Intuitive Life Coach, Motivational Speaker and Energy Healer.
This work is her passion, she has a background in Western and Eastern Medicine, Kinesiology and Energy Modalities. She is also a Holistic Health Practitioner and Entrepreneur.