There are few things in life more agonizing than realizing that despite our best efforts, an important relationship cannot be sustained. Sometimes the pain of this realization is too much to bear. Instead of accepting the truth, we slip into denial. We pretend that the problems don’t exist. We delude ourselves into thinking that everything will work out with just a little more time. Or we may acknowledge things are beyond repair, yet still refuse to let go. Instead of moving on, we allow ourselves to remain in a situation that is increasingly damaging to our self-esteem. And while we may end up maintaining the relationship to another, we do so at the price of our relationship with ourselves.

Whenever we cling to a relationship that no longer meets our needs, we are operating out of a fear-based mindset. Many times our fear stems from the belief that we are making a mistake. The irony is that when we allow our fears to drive our decisions we are almost certain to make errors in judgment.

If we find ourselves unwilling to accept the end of a relationship then it’s time to face our fears. One of the ways we can do this is by increasing our faith. Instead of cringing in fear, we can surrender to the belief that we are exactly where we need to be in order to learn an important spiritual lesson. We can trust that in time a greater understanding will come to us, even though we may not know the lesson today.

Letting go of a relationship is painful, however it is not nearly as difficult as remaining in one whose time has passed. Every relationship has a natural life span. While every relationship will not and should not last forever, each one provides the same opportunity to bring greater wisdom and healing. Whether we choose to grow or become a victim is entirely up to us.

Today, I pray for the willingness to accept the truth about my relationship.

Author's Bio: 

Sil Lai Abrams is the author of No More Drama: Nine Simple Steps to Transforming a Breakdown into a Breakthrough, an inspirational speaker and empowerment specialist, and Men's Fitness magazine’s relationship expert. Follow her on Twitter @sil_lai or email her at