Speaking The Truth In Love Even When It Hurts
Written by Karla Downing
Are you struggling with speaking the truth in your relationships because you are afraid of causing the other person to be hurt, unhappy, or upset? Then, this biblical truth and tip will help you. The most common conce Christians express when being honest is the fear that it will hurt the recipient. They have the misconception that it isn't "Christian" to cause a person pain or discomfort.
Speaking the truth is important. Even if someone is hurt by the truth, it is necessary to be told the truth to correct one's shortcomings. It isn't comfortable to make those we care about upset, but it is sometimes necessary. Just because someone is upset by what you say doesn't mean you shouldn't have said it. You need to focus on your responsibility to speak the truth to those close to you and detach from their reactions. Jesus was so truthful with people that many reacted by wanting to kill Him. Nevertheless, He was willing to speak His truth in the hope that people would listen and repent.
The Apostle Paul frequently confronted the early Christians on their behavior. He admits it was hard but says in his defense, "Even if I caused you sorrow by my letter, I do not regret it. Though I did regret it-I see that my letter hurt you, but only for a little while-yet now I am happy, not because you were made sorry, but because your sorrow led you to repentance. For you became sorrowful as God intended and so were not harmed in any way by us" (Second Corinthians 7:8-9, NIV). If we value the person and the relationship, we will take the risk. Speaking the truth even when it causes pain is a loving act.
You can attempt to speak your truth in a way that is loving and caring rather than attacking and blaming, but nevertheless, when someone is hurt by your comments, it doesn't mean you were wrong to have said it. It is the person's responsibility to deal with the truth. And, don't forget that some people will use their "hurt" manipulatively to shut you up. Fear of causing the other person to be upset, hurt, or unhappy shouldn't prevent you from speaking the truth in love.
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