Have you found yourself in a situation where you could not or did not speak your truth? You either said the wrong thing in anger or said nothing at all from fear?

Have you ever asked yourself what you were really angry about or fearful of?

So what if you said something that offended someone? And so what if you were offended? What was the big deal?

Why did your emotions get the better of you? Why did you take the situation so personally that it shook you off balance, you lost objectivity, and could not speak clearly and rationally?

So many questions!

Behind your negative emotions and automatic negative reactions, are memories--memories of when you were treated unfairly, disrespectfully, as if you were invisible or unimportant. The memory could be something as ordinary as being told to quiet down or stop crying. It could be something more extreme as being slapped or yelled at for saying the wrong thing or screaming at the top of your lungs as little children do.

No one had the perfect childhood--some had better ones than others--but none are perfect. The society we live in makes sure of that.

For this reason, any time you are in a situation that triggers the experience of being shut down or shut out--of feeling invisible, disrespected, or unimportant--the Fear Response will be triggered which will stimulate the automatic emotions and actions. For the most part, in other words, you can't help it.

Now, rather than being able to speak from a place of balance, you are speaking from a place of fear.

Know that there are basically only two places that your voice and your physiology vibrate from--The Love Response or The Fear Response. In the vibration of love you are in balance. In fear you are not. It is that simple.

So rather than focus on the person or situation that has made you angry or fearful, you can focus instead on your physiology. You can simply be aware that your physiology is out of balance and decide to shift your vibration into one that comes from love.


Well, give yourself the approval and recognition you are longing for (the very same that you are not getting from the person or situation you are or were in).

Inhale deeply
then exhale completely.
Repeat to yourself: "I am loved" as you inhale
and "I am lovable" as you exhale
Do this at least 10 times
imagine that someone you look up to is looking you in the eyes and telling you how wonderful you are and that you are indeed seen and heard, that you are important.
You can even hug yourself as you imagine this scene.
Do this as long and as often as you need to.

Trust me, it works.

Once you have settled your physiology down, you may find you have your voice back. You may find that you are less attached to the outcome of the conversation or situation and can speak your truth more calmly and rationally.

Author's Bio: 

Intent.com is a premier wellness site and supportive social network where like-minded individuals can connect and support each others' intentions. Founded by Deepak Chopra's daughter Mallika Chopra, Intent.com aims to be the most trusted and comprehensive wellness destination featuring a supportive community of members, blogs from top wellness experts and curated online content relating to Personal, Social, Global and Spiritual wellness.