One quality of a happy long-term relationship is that each person develops a high level of comfort with the other person. That comfort level allows the couple to interact in a stress-free manner most of the time. There is nothing wrong with that! However, there is an unwanted byproduct: the relationship can become humdrum or boring. Boredom leads to resignation at best and a wandering eye at worst.
To alleviate the boredom, it is imperative to occasionally do the unexpected. Find a creative way to break the mold and create love.
For example, it was a summer night and the moon was full. Lewis told Diane he wanted to take her for a drive. Once in the car, Lewis turned on the CD player, which he had previously queued up with Van Morrison's song Moon Dance. Lewis drove to a secluded area, parked the car, opened Diane's car door, took her hand and started walking down the road in the moonlight. A few minutes into the walk, they came to a bush that had a surprise present for Diane: a bouquet of flowers and a card that Lewis had left there just before they started the drive. A full moon, music, walking hand-in-hand, flowers and card! Diane was touched and will always happily remember that night.
Here is another example. It was a weeknight, during the busy season at Lewis' office. Diane emailed Lewis and told him to come right home from work and not worry about any errands. When Lewis walked in the door, he was greeted with a big hug and kiss. Diane then took his hand and guided him into the living room and sat him on the sofa. She took off his shoes and socks and rolled up his pants. Next thing he knew, his feet were sitting in a basin filled with warm water and rose petals. While his feet were soaking, Diane told him everything that she appreciated about him. The final touch was a short foot massage and off to the dinner table for a healthy and scrumptious dinner. Tender love was present that evening.
This isn't something you can do every day for your spouse. But you'd be wise to do something like that once in a while. There are three important elements:
1. Planning: Think through all the elements of your event and how you will accomplish it.
2. Surprise: Whatever you do, make it a surprise. Everyone loves a pleasant surprise.
3. Expression of Love: Include either a small gift, love note or another expression of love such as holding hands, a tender kiss or romantic massage.
Beat boredom before it beats you!
Diane and Lewis Denbaum are relationship educators and the authors of "Madly In Love Forever." Two free chapters of their book are available at http://www.madlyinloveforever.com/free-chapters/ "Madly In Love Forever" is available as a softcover book, Kindle Book, eBook, audio CD, or MP3 download. Diane and Lewis's book is packed with heartfelt stories, easy-to-use help and no-nonsense advice to help you create the romantic relationship you desire. You can put an end to the loneliness and frustration of "relationship suffering." Most chapters contain practical action steps that readers can start using immediately. Visit the Denbaums' website for more information or on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/MadlyInLoveForever
Post new comment
Please Register or Login to post new comment.