There are times in your life when you make decisions or close agreements that in no way agree with your goals or desires. By the time you’re shaking hands to confirm the deal, or you’re putting your decision to action, you start wondering why you proceeded in this move, as before doing so, you had a totally different opinion about that. And this makes you really angry! Does this description seem like you’re looking yourself in the mirror? Then, you may fall into the following two categories:

Lack of ability to assert yourself: Although you examined all aspects and you are sure you made the right decision, when the time comes to announce or implement this decision, you retreat. You feel guilty about going your own way and making a choice that may make another person feel displeased, because her or his opinion was not the one to follow. In other words, you feel bad about rejecting someone else’s proposal and you like to please everyone. This has as a consequence, to let down yourself, as you disobey your own decision that you made up after having examined all the information.

Lack of confidence about your decisions: You read over and over again an agreement and every time you do so, you change your mind about going for it or not. The same happens with the other decisions you have to make. You can’t help it changing your mind all the time until you finally become frustrated and stressed, pushing yourself to come up with a decision that you expect also to be the best one. And as you ultimately feel so happy and proud of yourself that you did manage to come to an end with this unpleasant procedure, when the time comes to share the news officially, another person’s look or a word that she or he may say, makes you lose control and words, that are far away than what you intended to say, come out of your mouth, without being able to control them. Why does this happen? Because you doubt about your ability to make good and valuable decisions and you don’t believe in yourself. You trust the others’ opinion and you consider yours to be inferior ones. So when the time comes to express your own decision, your insecurity takes place and you end up following another person’s will and acting on her or his benefit instead of yours.

So, if you recognize yourself in any of the about two categories, here are some tips you could follow:

Every time you have to make a decision, devote enough time to find the needed information and evaluate them properly.

Also discuss the issue with people you believe have a trustworthy and valuable experience on it and also with those, whom your decision, will affect them, as well.

Make sure you are in a quiet environment that will help you stay relaxed, and as stressed-free as possible, to come to a decision that you’ll feel sure and confident about.

Make a final review on your decision and after that consider it as a closed task.

Avoid discussing about it until it is the time for the decision to be announced officially.

When this time comes, replace any negative feelings or feelings of doubt, that may come into your mind, with the feeling of confidence and satisfaction you felt by the time you took this specific decision.

Avoid becoming emotional and feeling guilty or bad when probable objections or expressions of disagreement will be raised.

In this case, make sure you have reasonable explanations to give that will support your decision and after that, give the other persons to understand that the issue is considered to be closed, in order to avoid any contacts by those who will try to change your mind.

Making decisions is an inevitable part of your life and your career. Your decisions do not only affect you but other people, as well. Therefore it is crucial to obtain a positive and confident attitude towards them, in order to be able to support them till the end and not to result in mistaken ones, driven by uncertainty and fear.

Author's Bio: 

Valentina Kordi is a life coach specializing in Self-Confidence. She helps and supports business people achieve personal happiness and professional success by establishing strong self-confidence. Valentina studied for a Master’s Degree in HR Management as well as for a Bachelor’s Degree in Business Administration and she has over 15 years working in the field of Business Management. For more information go to