Recently, I led our monthly webinar for professionals working with family caregivers on Caregiving.com. In the webinar, I shared the ten life lessons I learned from working with family caregivers.
I thought you’d enjoy them, too. The life lessons I’ve learned from family caregivers follow:
1. Health Gives You a Fighting Chance, No Matter What Happens.
When you have health and fitness, you are in the best shape to manage what happens in your life. When you’re out of shape, it makes managing life’s tough times that much harder. And, good health often comes from good choices. Every day, we can make good choices about our health. Make good ones today.
2. Resolve. Now.
When you let problems go, the problems get bigger and bigger. And, the longer you let the problems go, the more bad habits you develop around the problems. Resolve issues with family members, help and service providers when the problems arise.
3. Denial is a Dangerous Diagnosis.
Denial steals your time. In denial, you live a life based on what was. Living in the past means you miss opportunities available today.
4. A Healthy Perspective Gets You to Tomorrow.
It’s hard to feel good about getting out of bed if you feel you have the worst life ever. If you can see that you are okay, that you will make it, then you can get out. Life is what happens between our ears: It’s what we tell ourselves about our circumstances, experiences and relationships.
5. Acceptance is a Gateway Experience.
Once we accept (a diagnosis, our limits, others’ limits), we can move forward to get help. Until we accept, we stay in pain and our past. Sometimes, we fight acceptance because we think it’s a failure. The crux is that without acceptance, we don’t have the help we need. Acceptance moves us forward. More important, acceptance moves us forward with help.
6. Rather Than Worry, Plan and Trust.
There’s so much to worry about. When we worry too much, we stay stuck. If we can move from worry to planning and trusting, we can take steps to manage those situations, circumstances and relationships which cause us to worry.
7. Instincts are an Incredible Asset.
When we trust our instincts, we make good decisions. Our instincts often provide the best reason to make a decision or choice. Our instinct is intangible which means sometimes we dismiss it; we can’t see it or read it, how can it work? Instincts work. They are one of your best assets.
8. Forgiveness Gives a Good Night’s Sleep.
Resentment and anger will keep you up at night. Forgiving is about letting go so you can move on in peace.
9. The Best Way to Help Ourselves is to Help Others.
When you reach out to help someone else in pain, you step out of yours. You gain a perspective (see Number 4) that helps you see you aren’t the only one with bad luck. Helping others shows you that your tough times have purpose.
10. The Meaning of Life Lies in its Moments.
And, in life’s great moments, we share a deep connection (sometimes through words, sometimes through touch, sometimes through smiles, sometimes through tears) with the people we love. At times, the deep connection occurs with the strangers we meet along our way. We treasure these moments when we connect because they define our lives. The moments of connection are what life is all about.
What are you life lessons learned because of caregiving? Or because of your work with family caregivers? Please share in our comments section below.
Denise M. Brown debuted Caregiving.com in 1996, surviving the tech bubble of the late 1990s, countless competitors, and, in January 2009, a very terrible hack attack. Denise is the author of four books: The Caregiving Years, Six Stages to a Meaningful Journey; Take Comfort, Reflections of Hope for Caregivers; Take Comfort, Too, More Reflections of Hope and Good Morning! Sunny Reflections to Start Your Day. You can view, and purchase, her books at Caregiving.com.
Denise began working with family caregivers in 1990. She regularly speaks about the family caregiver experience; her insights have been featured in The Wall Street Journal, SmartMoney.com, Time magazine and Chicago Tribune. Denise is also a professional caregiving coach, working with family caregivers and professionals to find the meaning in their journeys.
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