Valentine’s Day. Here it comes again. Last year we ran a list of things you can do if you’re single in February, and got a great response. So this year, we’re updating the list with some new ideas for how to spend this highly commercialized ‘holiday’.

Because even though you may not want to celebrate the idea of ‘romantic love,’ your life is filled with all kinds of love, if only you take the time to notice: unconditional love for your children, the soul-sister (or brother) affection for your best friend, the gratitude for all the people who make your life easier, etc. So here are some things you can do on Valentine’s Day (and all of February) to honor the loves of your life:

1. Indulge in something decadent. If you love sugar or glitter, treat yourself to a heart shaped box of chocolate (dark chocolate even has health benefits!) or pamper yourself with some new jewelry. You’ll most likely save money with the sales this month! (We know this one made the list last year, but how can we not mention chocolate and jewelry?)

2. Assemble all the special people in your life and have a Girl’s Night Out! Or even better, a Girl’s Night In- complete with home makeovers, cheesy movies and lots of high caloric foods (cheesecake and chocolate is a must!). Celebrate your strength and energy! (And for men, it’s perfect timing to plan ahead for March Madness!)

3. Take some time to give back. Start training for the Breast Cancer 3-Day, ( ) raise money for those who are less fortunate ( ) or do something closer to home with a visit to a nursing home or animal shelter. Let compassion rule your heart.

4. Tell your best friends and family what you need. They may think you’re ‘over the breakup”, and may not understand how certain triggers can buy you a ticket for the emotional roller coaster. Ask them for help.

5. Allow yourself to feel whatever comes up. Cry. Pout. Bemoan your lack of candlelit dinner or couples’ massage. But only for a short time. Let yourself wallow for an hour and then let it go. Life can be painful and difficult, but it also has joy and light. Don’t let this momentary situation define who you are.

6. Express your gratitude. Make a list every day of the things you are grateful for and type each list into At the end of the month, you’ll have created a beautiful illustration of the most important things in your life. Print it out and frame it as a reminder.

7. Maybe this is the year you join an online dating service. Take the plunge and sign up. If you don’t think you’re ready, make a list of what’s in your way. Then start tackling some of those obstacles (and plan to join us for our next Dare to Date…Again on June 5) so you will be ready and dating by next Valentine’s Day.

8. Flirt. This is as simple as smiling and looking directly into someone’s eyes. Experiment on the barista who makes your morning latte (the guys at my local Starbucks are incredible flirts!). Brush off those skills that may be long forgotten and practice for when you do meet someone you like and want to attract.

9. Manifest your mate. Create a vision board of what you’re looking for in a lover, partner or ‘someone you could spend time with’ (whatever term you are comfortable with). Then create a visual of who that person will be, and more importantly, how you will feel with that person. Use it as a guide to attract that person into your life.

10. Shake off the temptation to self-pity, and be your own valentine! Go see a movie, sing cheesy love songs to yourself and buy yourself a gift. Lavish yourself in all your desires- you deserve it!

No need to mope around this Valentine's Day. Use the time to love yourself, create your own love, or show others how much you love them!

Author's Bio: 

Renee Cooper is the coach and co-founder of One Journey Consulting, a coaching practice in MA dedicated to personal renewal and rediscovery through life's transitions (primarily divorce). More information can be found at