That's Not Who You Are

Today as I sat thinking about my past experiences and how they led me to this moment right now, I was perplexed by the battles that erupt within my psyche on a continuous basis. From fear of failing, loving, and hurting, to trying to better myself for someone else’s expectations, when suddenly a voice from within cried out, “Stop It! That’s not who you are!” The battles are not who we are, they are not what define us, they are simply the ego that keeps us from living our soul purpose. These battles are like little balls of energy that once unraveled, stay trapped, and tied to some deep seeded belief that we can’t have or do what we want in life, because that would mean upsetting the apple cart, and going against status quo, or the societal norms engrained in us from birth.

It seems every day we are held captive by the chains of life; do this, do that, no, that’s not normal, you’re supposed to do it this way, you can’t do that, but the truth is, “that’s not who you are.” We think and behave this way, not because we want to, but more because it’s what’s expected. We hold back from showing our true nature, and expressing our internal bliss, because it means we have to break rules, or upset/disappoint someone else, but who made the rules in the first place? Why are we setting these rules? Did it come from our upbringing, or perhaps our religious beliefs, or maybe it came from past pain and hurt we experienced. When you really think about it, these are not rules we set for ourselves, but what others have set for us. So, why spend so much time doing what’s expected, creating roadblocks, setting limits, and being bound by ego, when, that’s not who you are?

Our soul does not have these rules, it doesn’t have limitations, it doesn’t have regrets, or remorse, or angst, or anger. It has nothing but gentle, generous, and unconditional love, and wants us to be the explorers we’re designed to be. You say, you love to paint or draw or craft, then why are you doing data entry for a living? That’s not who you are! You say you love to help others achieve their dreams, then why are you working as an accountant? Those things you say you love doing, those are components that make up your soul, and rather than using those components, you’re holding back and your soul, in a sense, is being smothered by your reluctance to explore what you love doing.

You’re hiding behind a mask you created, to appear normal in the view of society, because living your soul purpose means doing and exploring things that go against the norm, or just in general, against what others are comfortable with. That’s not who you are! So, why try so hard to make other people comfortable? I mean, its nice to consider others, but what about considering you? You matter, your bliss matters, your happiness matters, and most of all, your soul matters.

We often see more value in material possessions, jobs, and controlling our lives to reflect some kind of exte
al perfection, rather than listening to our internal nature, and moving beyond what or how we feel, to value ourselves for who we really are. Our soul does not wear a mask, like we do in our daily lives, it is not there to impress others, or show off or prove we have money or possessions, but rather works through us, with us, and leads us through the battles of our ego. It sometimes speaks softly through our minds or senses, maybe a gentle feeling of warmth, or a tingling sensation in our body, maybe a whisper in our ear, “hey, you’re perfect the way you are,” and other times, it screams, “LET ME OUT! I’M HERE and I LOVE YOU!” Have you heard it? Have you felt it? Or better yet, have you allowed it, explored it, and expressed it?

Feelings and emotions are real things, we all have them, we all experience them, and often times they are what give us a sense of power and control. We grasp onto them, and wrap them up in little balls, and then shove them neatly into little boxes; “here’s my fear, here’s my anger, here’s my anxiety,” etc…and we do this to remind ourselves later of past experience, of what to never do again, essentially blocking ourselves from experiencing the bliss we seek, by creating a contract with our soul. “I will never love again, I will never do this or that again, I will never meet anyone;” The problem with creating these soul contracts, is that’s not who you are.

Heartbreak, heartache, shock, embarrassment, fear, regret, they all feel awful and should be acknowledged and dealt with, but saying, “I will never, I would never, I won’t ever, I can’t” creates limitations and barriers that your soul gets trapped behind, leaving you to have only, or be only, or live only, a small fraction of who you are by soul design. It also limits your internal bliss because your ego has decided you are not allowed to have, be, think, feel, or live your values, your truth, your bliss, your divine experience, or your soul purpose, but that’s not who you are.

These soul contracts, self imposed rules and limitations, masks we wear, and battles we wage, these are the ego’s reflection of who we should be, how we should act, how we should live, what we should do, how and what we should feel, think, and believe, but deep down, your soul truly knows, that’s not who you are!

So, then, who are you? Have you met the real you?