What do “sexy” women do differently?

Have you ever seen a woman who is physically less-than-perfect, maybe touting a larger schnozz or carrying an extra ponch, and yet somehow she manages to steal all of the glances in the room -- oozing sex appeal?

On the other hand, the physically perfect woman with enormous breasts and 4 inch heals who is completely overlooked. Even though her breasts arrive in every room before she does, she somehow manages to teeter around the room radiating anything but sexy.

While women may get salacious looks from wearing that extra short skirt or crafting the perfect twerk, we humans are programmed to find more than looks-oriented traits “sexy".

"When you see a person, do you just concentrate on their looks? It's just a first impression. Then there's someone who doesn't catch your eye immediately, but you talk to them and they become the most beautiful thing in the world." ~Brad Pitt

So, just which traits are found in sexy women?

Researchers have identified some exact things that men find sexy: 1. larger (but not too large) breasts; 2. a waist-to-hip ratio that is 0.7 (such as 36-25-36); 3. younger women; and 4. larger lips. But if men only found these traits sexy, the categories of MILFs (older women) and BBW(larger women) would never get much play on porn sites. And yet these categories are consistently some of the highest clicked-on categories, making these women some of the most widely sought-after sex objects. "Sexy" is found at every age and every size. And science confirms it.

“I think the quality of sexiness comes from within. It is something that is in you or it isn't and it really doesn't have much to do with breasts or thighs or the pout of your lips.” ~ Sophia Loren

Sexy is much more about what you do than about how you look. It it is not the size or shape of a lip, but rather the movement of that lip that makes it sexy. So, what do sexy people do differently?

The 5 Top Traits of Sexy Women

1. Confidence:

No trait is sexier than confidence. Radiating the message "I am happy to be who I am," will draw attention to you like no physical attribute could. Feeling confident about your own attractiveness, and seeing yourself as desirable will help others to see you that way too. (Bale, 2013)

Marilyn Monroe, one of the sexiest woman in history, was unrecognizable as the "Zelda Zonk," Marilyn's alter ego used when she didn't want to be recognized in public. Marilyn once reported that all she had to do to be unrecognizable was walk and talk with less confidence. And then, while wearing the exact same clothes and makeup, she could switch back by adding confidence into her movements, and instantly she was recognized as the Marilyn that oozed sex appeal.

Does any type of confidence make you sexy? Not really. People who are extremely confident in areas unrelated to the body or sensuality, such as being a parent or school teacher, may not necessarily project sexiness. Sexy confidence is related to the body.

Body / attractiveness confidence: Sexy people appear to be proud of their body and feel comfortable in their skin. They seem relaxed and rarely visibly show tension or stiffness. Movement suggests a fluidity of the body and is seen as sexy.

Sexual skill confidence: Researchers have found that people who feel relatively confident about their sexual knowledge or skill, will more likely project sexual attractiveness.

“If you're going to be sexy in a photo, you'd better be thinking about sex rather than about being sexy.” ~ Peta Wilson, Actress and Model

2. Positivity / A Warm Attitude:

Confidence alone does not make these women sexy, however. In fact, too much confidence can be seen as arrogant or "showing off" -- definitely not sexy. Confidence needs to be associated with a social warmth. An ability to relate well to others, with warmth and a positive attitude, is related to mate appeal in both sexes. (Dufner, 2013).

“Do I consider myself sexy? It all depends on the way I'm feeling. When I'm happy inside, that's when I feel most sexy.” ~ Anna Kournikova (Professional Tennis Player and Model)

3. Selflessness (for men, but not women):

Men who show a selfless side are seen as more attractive sex partners than those who do not. Surprisingly, this relationship was not true for women, however. For women, being selfless was an important factor when looking for long-term partners, but it did not play a part in a woman's sexual appeal when she was looking for short-term partners (read sex).

Does this mean if a woman is looking to be sexy, she can be selfish? Probably not, but do remember the role of positivity and warmth. Being a sexy woman is more likely related to how comfortable a woman is taking care of herself, rather than caring for others. The maternal "care-taking" role is decidedly un-sexy.

For women, there is no reason to be selfless if you want to have a short-term fling. Taking care of yourself is the sexiest trait of all. (Moore, 2013)

4. Playfulness and Humor:

Having fun for your own sake is contagious. Playfulness shows an ability to connect with others, be social and enjoy pleasure. It also makes women appear sexier. Smiling and good humor are considered to be the most important factors in sexiness. In one study, the women who appreciated humor were considered more sexy than those women who “wore sexy clothes” (Buss, 1988).

“When somebody gives you a sexy look, you know they're trying. It's terrible! But when you smile, it's so much sexier!” ~ Joseph Addison quotes (English Essayist, Poet, Dramatist 1672-1719)

5. Focus. The ability to lose yourself in an enjoyable task can be seen as sexy. Focusing your attention away from the watchful eye of the opinion of others shows an ability to enjoy your self and experience living in the now. It is this lack of self-consciousness which oozes "sexy."

In short, a woman's sexiness lies not in her lips, cleavage or short skirt. Feeling good about yourself radiates out the essence of “sexy”.

Do you have the traits of a sexy person? Take the Sexy Test

Author's Bio: 

Beatrice Fox has dedicated her life to makes sure we stay connected with other human beings. She has a BA (in Psychology), MPH and sex education training, such as SFSI and SAR from San Francisco. She is a sex educator and author of many articles and is a member of American Association of Sex Educators and has certificates in Liberal art and Erotology.

Read more about Bea at http://thepassioncollective.com/