The Biggest Mistakes Guys Make After a Break Up

I’ve been dumped before (three times by the same woman, no less), so I know what it feels like. You’ve read all the advice out there, but your gut instinct tells you to ignore it or that your situation is so different that the rules don’t apply. And in the end you just make the same mistakes you know you should make.

Relationship problems are common, but here are the most common break up mistakes that guys make:

First, they get overwhelmed by feelings of rejection - Have you ever called your ex ten times in the same day, just to hear her voice again, understand why she left (again), or to get closure? I have, and this isn’t good for you.

Regardless of whether you hope to reconcile with her or not, this isn’t a good move. It pushes her further away from you by making you seem desperate. Plus, it just reopens the wounds of break up over and over again making you relive the pain and negativity between the two of you.

Second, dating other women to right away - Let’s be honest here. You’re hurt. You need time to recover. If you just jump right into the dating scene after a break up, you’re not dealing with your emotions from the break up in a healthy way. You’re essentially stuffing them down and hoping they’ll go away, or you’re burying them in a new relationship (which will cause problems between you and your new girlfriend too).

If you’re trying to work things out with your ex girlfriend, don’t think that dating someone new will make her jealous and want to come back to you. It will usually just make her think that you’re moving on with your life and that she should too.

Third, seeing the break up as a negative thing - I know break ups hurt. They really can be a major setback in life. But every ending can also be a new beginning. Try to find the positive side to your break up, no matter what happens between you and your ex girlfriend.

Believe it or not, this can be a great opportunity to turn your life in a more positive direction. You are essentially free to do anything and be anything you want without having to worry about how it affects your ex girlfriend’s life. The question, then becomes, what would you choose to create with your life?

I know that break ups can be a real challenge. Try to avoid these mistakes and take things in a positive direction.