Are you happy? You can’t point your finger why or what exactly, but you are just sad. You don’t know what’s wrong but it is so hard for you to make any decisions by yourself now. How can this be- you use to be so self- sufficient, independent and decisive.

You are so confused, can’t concentrate and forgetful- this is so not you. You become afraid of your spouse. You do anything in your power to please him, especially making sure not to irate him. If he does something foolish and intolerable, you make excuses for his actions; you justify it to yourself and to others.

You can’t remember when you had your last peaceful sleep- there are drastic changes in your sleeping and eating habits. You only drink socially but now you have stocks of bourbon in your fridge. You love singing and dancing with friends or at home alone but now, you don’t even have the slightest energy to listen to your favorite records.

You don’t go out anymore - you isolate yourself. You forgot the last time you went out with friends or talked to a family member. You feel anxious, sick, tired and/ or depressed most of the time. You are at a lost of yourself- who are you? You use to be so confident, so sure of yourself, not afraid to be alone.

What happened to the person that you are? “Is this what marriage do to a person? Yes, he is not perfect but is it normal to feel this way?” The answer is no- if you can relate to anything from the symptoms mentioned- you are far from normal. You are in an abusive relationship- an abuse that has a subliminal effect.

One that you cannot see but it cripples your being and it shatters your soul- emotional abuse. Our emotions are the one that helps us function properly as a human, as a person, it where our humanity is. Imagine if your humanity is taken away from you. In this kind of abuse, your partner never passes a chance to devalue you as a person.

Not listening and considering your opinion- or even making fun of it alone or with friends or in a crowd. He constantly questions your intelligence and ideas. He takes delight in embarrassing you. He does everything in his power to make you feel insecure and helpless, until you see yourself next to nothingness.

And if that is not enough, he takes away your freedom by taking away your finances- making you totally dependent of him in all aspects. He makes you feel that you’re not good enough- as a wife, as a mother, as a friend, as a person. The abuser will make you believe that you cannot survive without him and that you are lucky to have him because you are a lesser person.

He always threatens to leave you and takes pleasure to see you panic every time he does. If you think it can’t get any worse than these, then you are totally wrong, it can and it will get worse. It can escalate to physical abuse and he can do this to your children.

Abusers are monsters, they are insatiable of the power they have over you. They will not stop unless you stand up for yourself. This is a serious kind of abuse. Get help. Protect your family- protect yourself.

Author's Bio: 

The author of this article, Ruth Purple, is a successful Relationship Coach. Learn how you can seduce any man that you fancy with so much ease and subtlety.