The Divorced Woman in a Christian Church

Can a divorced woman find purpose? She may feel as if she is of no value in the service of God and that her marital status hangs around her neck like a scarlet letter. This feeling can sometimes be the strongest in a Christian Church.

There are so many scenarios of a divorced woman in society today. From the "professional" whose self-absorbed attitude destroys those who get in her way to the "victim" who has suffered so greatly she refuses to ever trust or love again. Between these two scenarios there are those who just make bad choices, marry for the wrong reason or feel like it is the only choice. Whether the woman is blatant or embarrassed about her situation, each one still carries a heavy burden. The world has come to accept this class of society. Where once a divorced woman was sometimes looked down on as a failure and found it a struggle to manage on her own, today it would be difficult to tell if a woman was divorced or not. But what about the church, how does the church react to this group of our society?

First, you must find a church. Speaking from personal experience, a divorced woman can be overlooked when it comes to being visited after filling out a visitors card at a new church. Divorced mothers with children may have a better chance because of their children. But if all you have to offer is yourself, you may feel insignificant and of no importance. After all churches need families, men and women with children who will help grow their church. This is understandable but at the same time do not disregard someone due to their marital status. She may be trying to find a place to worship, she may need to be loved and ministered to, she may just need a place where she can serve Christ.

Upon finding a church, a divorced woman can sometimes find it hard to find a place where she will fit. You are not a candidate for the single adult class and definitely do not fit in with the married couples class. If there is an adult ladies class, generally most of these ladies are married. Most churches do not like to have a divorced class because after all divorce goes against Scripture. Social events are typically based around family activities where all the parents get together with their children. Even an adult get together generally center around couples.

So how does a divorced woman become part of a body of believers (church)? You have to pray, believe, and then stay put. Pray for God to give you guidance on where He wants you to be. If you are not where God can use you and grow you then it does not matter if you are divorced or happily married. Believe that God can still use you. In John 4 Jesus met the woman at the well who had been divorced 5 times and was currently living with a man. "The woman then left her waterpot, and went her way into the city, and saith to the men, Come, see a man, which told me all things that ever I did: is not this the Christ? Then they went out of the city, and came unto him." (John 4:28-30 kjv). And then stay put. Sure your feelings may get hurt, you may be left out of certain activities, but until God moves you out - let Him move you in. Be active, volunteer, show up and let the church see that you are there to serve God.