It is likely that you, as a grown-up – like so many others - probably have some unfinished businesses to take care of, be it relationships issues, unfulfilled career opportunities, as well as unresolved parents-children issues (with your own parents and/or own children). Taking time to heal unfinished business is vital for your continuous personal growth and your ability to develop and maintain healthy and satisfying relationships.

By now you might have probably been single and on the dating scene for many years, gotten hurt time and again, needing to heal your wounds before finding and developing a satisfying new relationship. Or you might have just come out of a long-term relationship but you don’t know how to heal the separation.


You are probably used to handle your life on automatic pilot, live according to “social norms”, believing that you know yourself well enough to handle your life. Many think similarly.

But thinking this way might interfere with you healing. The reason being, that this is often a misguided perception. It is likely that you – like many others - don’t know yourself well enough: you are not aware of factors such as needs, fears, unrealistic expectations, messages you internalized at young age from the home and the environment in which you grew up, your belief-system and perception of reality, which exert power over you and control your attitudes and behaviors. Any one of these factors – or a combination of some – might disable you from being able to solve unfinished businesses and to heal.


Developing Self-Awareness is vital to the healing process. As long as you are NOT aware, you neither feel the need to heal, nor do you know what and how. At times you might feel that something is wrong, that something doesn’t go the way you would like it to, that something hinders you from moving forward in you life and achieve what you still would like to achieve – be it a successful intimate relationship, a better position yet, and so on. As long as you are NOT aware what this “something” is, you don’t know what stands in your way, how to embark on a healing process and what changes you need to make.


Becoming aware means:

* Getting to know and understand yourself better;

* Realizing traits, feelings, attitudes and behaviors you denied and rejected until now and refused to acknowledge and accept as part of “who you are”.

* It means becoming conscious of what exerts power over you and drives you to behave in ways which hinder personal-growth and self-actualization.

As long as you are NOT aware of the power and damage these factors have brought upon you until now, you might walk around wounded, feeling incessantly frustrated, disappointed, disillusioned, angry, desperate and unhappy, without knowing what you should do in order to heal yourself and move forward towards a more fulfilling life and to a satisfying relationship.


Awareness and healing are two complementary processes. Through them you can get up the courage to be true to yourself; authentic and genuine; connected to your will; acknowledge and accept traits and behaviors you might have denied and rejected within yourself until now.

This complementary relationship between awareness and healing is vital for solving unfinished businesses, to your personal growth and to your ability to develop and maintain a successful relationship.

Author's Bio: 

Doron Gil, Ph.D., is a Self-Awareness and Relationships Expert, with 30 year experience as a university teacher, workshop leader, counsellor and consultant. Dr. Gil has taught classes to thousands of students, and trained physicians, managers, school teachers and parents on how to develop Self-Awareness in order to develop and maintain successful personal and professional relationships.

Dr. Gil has written numerous articles on the subject ( and is the author of: "The Self-Awareness Guide to a Successful Intimate Relationship: Understanding Why You Fail in Your Relationships Over and Over Again and Learning How to Stop it!"