The Inner Game of Break Ups

When you go through a break up, it can be one of the most difficult things to go through. Not only do you have to pick up the pieces of your life and move on, but you also have to deal with all the troubling thoughts, emotional turmoil, stream of what-if thinking and self-doubt.

What do you do about it and how can you get your mind in order?

Well, first of all, it’s important to know that this is really about you. A lot of people might have trouble dealing with a break up because they tend to look outside of themselves for validation or to feel good.

But, you have to realize that how you feel is entirely about you and how you focus your mind.

Some “dating experts” might call this “inner game.” Inner game is actually about how you think and how you see yourself. It encapsulates your beliefs about yourself, the world around you, and your ex.

If you’re struggling with your emotions and your overall well-being after your break up, there’s a good chance that you might be having inner game problems.

Okay, you might be thinking, I feel bad, and that’s my fault. So, what do I do about it?

Well, the first thing is to realize that negative thoughts come from focusing your mind on what you don’t want. That’s right, any time you feel bad, emotionally, it is because you are thinking about something you don’t want, don’t have, or lost.

Take a moment and think about it. Isn’t that true?

Here’s what you can do about it. You can simply change your thoughts and think about something that you do want instead.

That may seem a bit simplistic, and there is indeed a lot more when you get down into the details, but if you can actually change your thoughts and get yourself to think about positive things or enjoy your own life, you will begin to feel better.

When you focus on what you want, you can instantly feel good. Instead of worrying about what might happen if you can’t get her back or if he’s really gone for good, you can start to drift back into those negative thoughts.

It can be a lot of work to maintain your focus on what you want. But with some practice you’ll be able to improve and it will get easier and easier. After all, focusing on what you want feels good, right? So, wouldn’t you naturally start to do more of that if it led to you feeling better about your life and letting go of the pain of the break up?