What is the secret of relationship happiness be in an intimidate relationship between a couple?

Both you and your partner need to be happy in yourself independent of each other. While the wish is that your partner will make you feel great about yourself, or on a long-term basis, the truth is, over time, the intense focus that happens when couples first meet reduces. Life happens, and at some point, “The Honeymoon is over.”

When this happens it may appear that you have chosen the wrong person. But this is not true. What is true is that no one can make you happy but yourself. Happiness is an inside job!

This means that for an intimate relationship to remain vibrant and exciting, you need to do your own work to feel great about being you. You have to validate yourself, enjoying aspects of your life away from your partner. You have to feel joy in your heart, just for being you.

In being fulfilled within yourself, you are then able to be emotionally generous to your partner, being there for him or her, being giving and loving, without feeling drained.

Conflict happiness in relationships when each of he partners needs more from their partner than he or she is able to give. This happens quite frequently because initially, your partner will usually have eyes only for you - the other events in his or her life do not appear important. And so filling you up with love and validation will happen automatically. The assumption is that the intense interest will go on forever.

When real life sets in, and it almost always does, the validation and love that initially made you feel so good is no longer as intense. You will naturally think that your partner in not doing enough for you

This is where the conflict begins as your partner and yourself start arguing about not receiving enough to create that god feeling.

Aside from clarifying and resolving the communication challenges based on the source issues, the solution usually involves doing some self-reflection and inner work to feel whole in yourself. From a place of wholeness, you will be able to enjoy your partner without feeling unloved or abandoned when he or he is not able to be there for you in the same way as when you first met.

The bottom lines?... The happier you feel in yourself, the happier your relationship will become. Relationship Counselling can create profound shifts in intimacy and happiness when you are guided to understand the invisible barriers blocking fulfillment and what you can do to reconnect and heal the gaps in your own self-confidence.

By Andrea J. Moses, M.S.W. Andrea is a Toronto-based relationship expert. Andrea has been working with individuals and couples for over 30 years. Andrea is the published author of Transform Your Life Now, Choices, Emotional Rescue, and Big-Time Change. www.lifecoachsolutionstoronto.com

The Key To Relationship Happiness is a copyright © 2014 of Andrea J. Moses. All rights reserved.

Author's Bio: 

Andrea J Moses M.S.W.is a graduate of McGill University with a B.S.W. and The University of British Columbia with an M.S.W. Andrea has practiced over 30 years in the field of individual and relationship counseling. Andrea is the author of Transform Your Life Now, Big-Time Change, Choices, and Emotional Rescue.