The Majority of "Help For Marriage" Tips Fail - Don't Waste Your Time! Here's Why

You want to save your marriage. You have been searching for tips, articles, books, counseling and talked to friends, family members and perhaps a clergy member to get help for your marriage. You've been to psychics and faith healers and possibly even a marriage counselor or two, but nothing seems to be working. Here's why.
You're the Only One Who's Tryingr
If it takes two people to make a marriage, then it takes two people to save a marriage. You can't make another person change; the only one you can change is yourself. That's not to say that you shouldn't keep trying, but you first will have to look for ways that you can help yourself even if your partner is unwilling to try. Once you've changed yourself and your attitude or whatever your spouse sees as your deficiency improves, perhaps they will be willing to go along with you on this journey to help save your marriage.
You Keep Looking for a Magic Formular
If there really was a love potion available, do you think that more than fifty percent of marriages would end in divorce? Of course they wouldn't. People would buy gallons of the potion to keep their marriage together. But there isn't a magic potion or cure, marriages take work and unless you're both willing to put in the effort, tips to help save your marriage will be useless.
You're Not Communicating Openly and Honestlyr
If you're not being totally honest and open with each other about what you perceive to be the problems in your marriage or what you expect from your partner, then your marriage is doomed. There are many things that are essential to a good marriage but none is probably more important than good communication. Too many couples think they know what the other person wants or needs but they never actually ask that person or express their own feelings.
Very often you'll hear couples say things like, "Well we've been married for X number of years. He should know what I need," or "She knows my shoe size, my favorite shaving cream, the number of teeth I have in my mouth. She knows everything about me. Why doesn't she know that I'm hurting?" The answer is that your spouse isn't a mind reader. If you have a problem and you're not communicating it, then there is no help for your marriage tip out there that's going be of any use. Start talking.
You're Playing the Blame Gamer
Don't keep score. Ultimately, it doesn't matter who did what to whom or how often. If you want help for your marriage then you have to stop playing the blame game. No one wins and everyone loses, especially your marriage. No marriage is always fifty-fifty. Sometimes it's ninety-ten or thirty-seventy or any combination like that. Marriage is about compromise, not score keeping. Sometimes one spouse will give more and sometimes the other will. But if you expect that it's always going to be a level playing field with each partner giving equally, you're doomed for disappointment.
You're Both Trying to Blow Off Steam at the Same Timer
Life is sometimes like a pressure cooker. Things keep heating up and heating up and the pressure builds and if you don't let off some steam, you think you're going to blow up. That's why pressure cookers have a regulator so that only a certain amount of steam escapes at once. If they didn't your dinner would explode all over your kitchen. It's the same thing with marriage. You both can't blow off steam at the same time. Someone has to be the regulator to ensure that your marriage doesn't explode. Take turns. As long as there is a controlled release, you'll be able to keep your marriage intact. If there isn't, watch out, because you're marriage going to go BOOM and no amount of help for your marriage is going to make a difference.