If an area of someone’s life is not how they want it to be, they can see themselves as being “unlucky.” What is going on is then going to be out of their control and there will be very little, if anything, that they can do about it.

When it comes to what area of their life this is, it could relate with their relationships. Here, someone could typically end up with people who don’t treat them very well and, consequently, they will have a negative effect on their life.

A Different Outlook

However, when it comes to their career, for instance, this area of their life could be going in the right direction. As far as they are concerned, this area of their life could be in their control.

They are then not going to be “lucky” in this area of their life; this will be something that they have worked hard for. Moreover, their friends and the society that they live in could also support what they believe.

The Truth

Whenever they talk about what is going on with their relationships to their friends, these people could more or less tell them what they tell themselves. This will almost certainly show that their friends have the same outlook when it comes to their own life.

Their outlook can be validated by the society that they live in through magazines, the media, and advice columns, for instance. These sources can typically make out that there are victims and perpetrators, with the former being powerless and the latter having total power.

Another Scenario

Alternatively, one could be in a position where both of these areas of their life are not going well. Nonetheless, they can see themselves as playing no part in what is going on and, once again, there are likely to be plenty of people who will support their outlook.

At this point, if someone was to suggest that they are playing a part in what is going on when it comes to the first area that was mentioned or both areas, they could end up getting defensive. In fact, they could even accuse this person of engaging in “victim-blaming”.

A passive observer

The reason for this is that in one area or a number of areas of their life, they will see themselves as nothing more than an observer. They are then just going to happen to experience life in this way.

Someone or something ‘out there’ can be seen as defining what happens to them. Now, as this is what they believe and the people around them and the society that they live in is going go back them up, what would they question what they believe?

A Big Illusion

Furthermore, it could be said that there is absolutely no chance that someone would be playing a part in what was going on. To say that they would consciously choose to have bad relationships or to not do well in their career, or any other area for that matter, would be ridiculous.

What needs to be acknowledged at this point is that they, along with everyone else on this earth, don't just have a conscious mind, they also have an unconscious mind. This means that they don't need to consciously choose to experience something “negative” in order for them to experience something that is “negative.”

The Hidden Area

When it comes to their unconscious mind, this part of them will contain painful feelings and the parts of themselves that they have rejected, among other things. After these parts have been pushed into this part of them, their conscious mind can forget all about them.

Even so, what is held in this part of them will continue to have an effect on how they experience life. Who they are drawn to, are repelled by and how much good they allow into their life will be largely defined by what is taking place in this part of them.


The trouble is that through not being aware of their unconscious mind, let alone the impact it is having on their life, it won’t occur to them that what is going on ‘out there’ is a reflection of what is taking place inside them. Instead of seeing what is going on externally as a sign of what they need to resolve inside themselves, it will be normal for them to believe that they are being punished or victimised by an external source.

If they lived in a society that had an education system that educated people on both of their minds and gave them an understanding of how their own consciousness co-creates their reality, their life, and the planet as a whole, would be very different. As for why there is “negative” material in their unconscious mind that is causing them to co-create a life where people don’t treat them well, for instance, it can be due to what took place during their early years.

Repeating The Past

Perhaps this was a time when their caregivers didn’t treat them very well, which would have prevented them from developing a felt sense of self-worth. Being treated badly would have caused them to suffer yet it would have come to be associated as what is familiar and therefore, to be classed as what is safe to their ego-mind.

Many years will have passed since this stage of their life but their early experience of being treated badly and feeling worthless will continue to play out. Re-creating this early experience can also be a way for the child part of them to try to receive what it was unable to receive all those years ago – something that can’t happen.


If one can relate to this, and they are ready to change their life, they may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided with the assistance of a therapist or healer.

What this illustrates is how important self-awareness is as with it, one will be able to see how their outer world is mirroring back their inner world. It won’t always be mirroring back a part of them that they are aware of but it will still be mirroring back a part of them.

Author's Bio: 

Author, transformational writer, teacher and consultant, Oliver JR Cooper, hails from England. His insightful commentary and analysis covers all aspects of human transformation, including love, partnership, self-love, self-worth, inner child and inner awareness. With over two thousand, six hundred in-depth articles highlighting human psychology and behaviour, Oliver offers hope along with his sound advice.

To find out more go to - http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk/

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