The problem and the solution lies with us

It is often the small problems that cause us the greatest amount of difficulty.

There is no magic cure, there is only the option to look closer as that which causes difficulty or annoyance and see what is really there.

Many a time the blame is placed on another person, ‘he did this and it made me angry/upset me’, ‘she said that and it bugged me all day’. So long as there is a blame game going on, the problem is not being addressed. The problem is not the other person. The problem is your reactions. It is that which needs to be addressed.

Why do you react the way you do? Why are you so quick to anger? Why do you hold tight to resentment all day?

When you take the time to look at the why, you will discover many things about yourself. You will discover, perhaps, that you have a high moral threshold, and that you get angry when other people fail to live up to your standards. Remember that they are your standards. From the level of understanding and integrity that you hold, you live your life, day to day. Another person has a different level of understanding, and they may be doing their best from where they stand. If it is a lower level of understanding than the one you embrace, can they really be blamed for not living up to your level? Not really. In which case, are your reactions to them really fair?

If someone always leaves specific chores to you, and this makes you angry, have a think about this: did you ever sit down and work out what chores there are around the home, and choose which ones you like to do and then, of the ones neither of you like to do, perhaps you could divide them up equally and rotate them week by week? If you did not do this, perhaps it is time you did. If you don’t like emptying the bins, discuss it, talk about a list, solve the problem. You partner/flatmate likely has no idea at all how you feel, and never will if you don’t talk about it.

Understandings are shared when we talk, when we sit together and truly listen to each other’s words. Truly listen, speak from your heart, and make the effort to understand the other person. It is not a venting session, nor a time to you to unload all your woes and blame other people, it is a time to talk, to share, to listen, to discuss, to be open and accepting. You may hear things you do not like, you may see a viewpoint you have not considered, you may discover that all your angers are yours alone, and you may discover that you are the one with work to do. You see, we cannot blame other people for not fixing our life for us. Only we can fix our life, not another. I do not need anything from you to be happy, I am happy within myself. I ask only the same for you. To be happy within yourself so that you can know happiness, share happiness, and live happiness. If you have convinced yourself that you need something from another person in order to be happy, then you are not happy within. Find happiness within first and then you will have happiness, and can enjoy that in every day. Your happiness is not dependent upon another person. (Unless, of course, you are in an abusive relationship, in which case you have a whole different set of questions to ask.)

Resenting another person’s behaviour sends a very clear message to the universe ‘I like to resent, so give me more to resent’, and thus the cycle goes on and on, and you never realise that you are the person fuelling the problem! If you take the time to simply stop resenting—and that is not easy, but over time you can lessen the resentment more and more and more—you will see that there will be less for you to resent. Cause and effect.
For so long as we react to the world in a way that is less than unconditionally loving, we know we have work to do. When you respond to all of life with unconditional love, you will be ready to ascend. Until then it is all about the journey.