Our thoughts about the future frequently cause emotions that get in the way of enjoying, appreciating, or participating in the present. Start listening to what people are already saying about the holidays. You hear things like “I am so stressed out about the holidays. I have so much to do.” “I hate the holidays. My family is so dysfunctional.” or “I am so angry because I have to spend so much money over the holidays. I wish it were January.”

All of these thoughts create an emotional state that goes along with it. Being stressed before the holidays start is a self created mental state. So is beginning the holidays with an attitude of dislike, resistance, helplessness and fear. These thoughts cause people to go into their Survival Style and instead of striving to create the best experience of the season. The emotional state that is created by these thoughts colours how situations are seen and people are responded to.

In the case of the Intellectual, their Holiday Style includes thoughts of how to get out of socializing. Even when they are at an event, they look for ways to get away, going outside with the smokers, even if they don’t smoke, sitting in the den by themselves looking at books, or seeking comfort in a book they found. I have known Intellectuals who have turned on the TV at their own party to alleviate their feelings of anxiety! Their behaviour is often socially disruptive alienating them from others to give them the space they need.

When Intellectuals are in touch with their feelings of anxiety and social discomfort and are able to discuss them openly, their anxiety diminishes. Intellectual children can be protected from the judgements of others who don’t understand their need to withdraw or other antisocial behaviours by parents who limit the extent of their social engagements. Practising mindfulness to better tolerate emotions of anxiety and helplessness go a long way. It allows them to be in the Holiday Season without spoiling it for the helpless bystanders who do not know why they are being so critical and antisocial.

Author's Bio: 

Anne Dranitsaris, Ph.D, brings a lifetime of study, “psychological savvy” and hands-on clinical experience to helping people become who they are meant to be. Her interest in creating mental health, coupled with her interest in personality systems and the dynamics of human behavior, has influenced the development of the Striving Styles Personality System.

Holistic Approach to Learning

Driven by a vision for a holistic approach to emotional and physical health, Anne chose educational pursuits that aligned with her passion. At the same time, she studied at mainstream universities such as Ryerson (Business Management), University of Toronto (Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction, Religious Studies) and ADR Institute of Ontario (Alternate Dispute Resolution). Anne looked for training institutes that would help her integrate the cognitive, emotional and physical approaches to healing the mind and body. This education included: receiving her degree as a Registered Massage Therapist; graduating from the International School for Spiritual Sciences (Montreal); psychotherapy certification from the Centre for Training in Psychotherapy (D.C.T.P); studies at the Masterson Institute for Disorders of the Self (New York); and a Ph.D. in Therapeutic Counseling from the Open International University for Complementary Medicine (WHO).

Committed to lifelong learning, Anne has completed postgraduate programs in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, Spiritual Self-Schema Development, Brain and Behavior and Emotional Intelligence (EQ-i), and she has been a long-time follower of the work of Carl Jung. Anne continues to stay educated and informed about recent advances in neuroplasticity, brain development, mindfulness and social intelligence.

Executive Coaching & Corporate Therapy

Anne became one of Toronto’s first Executive Coaches in the late 1980’s. She could see the direct application of the therapeutic tools to the corporate world, which drove her to expand her work into that realm. Anne began using the title of corporate therapist to indicate the depth with which she worked with leaders and teams developing emotional intelligence, behavioral competence and relationship skills in organizations. She has also used her unique approach to work through dysfunctional relationships, partnerships, teams and boards.

Prior to starting SKE, Anne built several successful companies including Sage Developmental Resources, an organizational consulting firm focused on behavioral alignment, and the Centre for Mindful Therapies, which offered customized Mindfulness-based Stress Reduction Programs to organizations and individuals. In addition, she worked extensively with Heather on Several global leadership development initiatives for Caliber's clients, providing both individuals coaching and facilitating high performance team development at the executive and senior management levels.

Sought After Writer

A prolific and frequently cited writer on the impact of behavior, emotional intelligence and personality styles in the workplace, Anne has written a series of books on personality type based on Jung’s theory of Psychological Type. The Personality Profile Series© books are used to help individuals in coaching and counseling to understand themselves, their environment, their partners, and their children. Anne's latest series of books, The Jung Typology Series©, focuses on understanding the impact of personality type on employees, teams and leaders.

Anne has been featured in the media — on radio and on television — as well as in a wide range of national and international publications including USA Today, The New York Post, Huffington Post, The Toronto Star, NOW Magazine, The Globe and Mail and TIME.com. Additionally, her work has appeared in three issues of “O” Magazine within the past year, with her article on Striving Styles being included in the “O” Annual as one of the year’s top articles. She has recently been contracted to write for an upcoming issue of “O”.