What makes us Us? What is the essence of our relationship? Is it the sum of You and Me? Of two separate entities committed to each other, hopefully, that positively, or indifferently, relate to each other? The essence of our relationship is made up of the connection between ourselves and our partner. The energy in the space between us.

This energy is flavored and characterized by the stuff that lies between us. This stuff is influenced and created by our personal histories and our personalities; how we behave, act and respond; what we allow and invite to happen; how we structure our selves, lives, and routines; how we hold ourselves back or grow; how we heal or hurt; what we choose to spill into the space; the color of our lenses; our perspectives, etc.

Relationships that are riddled with difficulties between the partners have their in between space filled with dirty stuff. They do not appropriately handle their stuff which becomes damaging to the energy, the connection, between the partners. If we are neglectful of our selves, are not responsible for ourselves, live our life unintentionally where we are victims to the whims of others and life, if we are less than loving to our partner – our connection suffers. If we could see the energy in between this type of partners, it would look like a very thin, brittle, translucent filament. Barely visible or tangible. And, the partners would not be doing well in the relationship, and, most likely, individually.

If this is your relationship, your job is to safe guard your connection from yourselves and others: Heal old wounds. Put your history in perspective and re-author the story of your life. Take care of your self and your life. Set appropriate boundaries for yourself and with others. Learn better communication skills so you can get on the same page with your partner and prevent additional damage to your connection. Be kind, respectful, accepting and supportive to your partner.

Once you start being mindful of the space between and caring for it, you’ll notice a difference in your feelings towards each. Your relationship will become more satisfying and you’ll feel more deeply connected. Start putting in good stuff in the space between you!

Happy Stuffing!!

~ Your MetroRelationship™ Assignment

Start being mindful of the space between you and your partner. Think of three ways to start nurturing it and enhancing the energy, strengthening your connection. Schedule related tasks into your schedule – integrate nurturing your relationship into your routine!

Author's Bio: 

Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT has been in the mental health field in varying capacities for the past 20+ years. She is the Founder and Director of MetroRelationship.com a psychotherapy and coaching practice specializing in working with busy professional and entrepreneurial couples who are struggling getting on the same page and feeling connected. We help couples create a radiant and authentic relationship and meaningful life by becoming a strong partnership and increasing their connection, intimacy, and fun. Emma is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Couple Strategy™.