TB Wright

*This article is specifically designed to start a thought process that will lead us away from dissatisfaction, and on to satisfaction, through practice. This takes time. The invitation is to give yourself that time, and to practice the "tell the truth now, tell the truth later" method of success, which always works toward our satisfaction.

We all have a myriad of things we like. No problem. We all have a myriad of things we do. No problem either. All of us also be, do, and have, a lot of things other than that which we like. Things that we don't want to do, or have, or be. No? Then what's with all the upset, complaining, judgments, and war? Oh, that. So what's the problem here? The only problem we ever have is one: Our efforting over trying figure out how to bridge the gap between the way life is, and the way we'd like our lives to be. You would not be reading this article, and I would not be writing it either, if this were not the case. There are very few things we do as humans for the simple sheer pleasure of doing it. We always want something. And we want that something because we feel we would feel better in the having of it. Regardless of what that something is, we do this.

Given that wanting is a basic human characteristic, it would certainly make our lives much easier and enjoyable, heck, we might even begin to do things for the sheer joy of it, horrors!, if we learned how to develop a relationship with wanting that was less adversarial, upsetting, and downright annoying, and instead adopt a more gentle one. Gentle to us!

How can we then, develop this gentle relationship with wanting, in a way that leaves us satisfied and nurtured? The answer is: There is no one way, there are only many ways. And it's the many ways that you have to traverse, until you find the one that most resonates with you. We all have to do this. And we all get upset when some particular guru, seminar, church, organization, relationship, financial plan, or outside event, works out in a way that didn't, after all, work for us. When something outside of ourselves fails us. Before we start complaining one more time, hold on there! Let's look at this. Something outside of ourselves, did not live up to our expectations of it. Hmmmm, let's see here, whether it was a partner or a partnership in business, somehow we feel as if because it acted the way that it acted, we were failed. Because it was what it was, that's something we get to be upset by. Because it was itself, we are angry. Because it acted the way it was going to act whether we were there or not, we are aggravated. Well that's like asking a basketball not to bounce when we throw it down on concrete, and then getting pissed off because it does! "Well, they should have!" Should have what? Been different in reality or the way life is? That's when we say they should have instead, been more like the way I want life to be! And then we add any number or protracted and colorful expletive deletives to the end of that statement!

There it is again. The dilemma we face between the way life is, and the way we would like life to be. What happens after we face such failure? Usually we go into hyper-judgment, and depend upon making the event, person, or thing wrong, so that we can be right about that it failed us by simply being what it was. I see this in relationship to relationships all the time. "But he should have!" Should have what? Truth is, he or she, is the way he or she is, and always has been, and if any change is going to occur, it certainly won't happen through makewrong! So what do we really want here? We still really want to feel good, but we go about trying to feel better about things by doing exactly what makes us feel bad! And the thing that keeps us stuck there, is the one most powerful drug in the world, that of getting to "be right." It floods into our systems, causing us to get our kick while at the same time virtually guaranteeing that we will be dissatisfied as a result of having been right to begin with. Usually, right about everything being wrong, and then the reasons why. All reasons to get aggravated over. Because failure, upset, makewrong, and judging, are always dissatisfying!

Again, what now? Now that we know we do this, what's the solution? As with all solutions, or that which mitigates the effect of what we do, and causes us to go from what we truly do not want, to feel bad, and onto feeling better, is to do one thing and one thing only: Tell the truth now, tell the truth later. There is no other more powerful antidote for what we do as human beings that is toxic, than to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. Not what you or I think, have as an opinion, not what others necessarily say, if it's not the truth too, but simply, the truth. Truth is, life is the way it is, and if we tell the truth about it, without complaint or judgment, then the platform we begin to form underneath our efforts becomes solid.

By way of example, let's look at relationship. Usually we approach a "failed" relationship by making the other person wrong for being what they were, which had nothing to do with us, or even our imagined influence upon them. They were that way long before we met them, and if we had been paying attention through telling the truth, we would have realized that before we hooked up with them. After the breakup and subsequent shock, we usually point our fingers at them and tell everyone about all the bad things they did that screwed things up. Rather, than pointing the finger at ourselves, the real source of upset and failed expectations in our lives, and say to our friends, hey look, I'm judging here! Now that would be the perfect example of telling the truth! Yet how many people actually do this! Not anyone I've ever known, and up until now, not even me! It's a hard road to travel, this telling the truth, but it's a road that leads to satisfaction and success, without fail.

In the above case, to admit to all the expectations that we had of the other person that they did not fulfill, because they could not fulfill them, would also be telling the truth. I know it's natural to think and feel that outside events and people are what make us happy, but they aren't. What happens instead is that we decide what outsides events and people make us happy, and then point our fingers outside of ourselves and say that "They're making me happy! Isn't that great!" Well, yes, it's great you're happy about outside things, but that's a sure setup for disappointment when you realize that they are not what is making you happy, the moment they act in any way whatsoever contrary to what you have decided makes you happy! If this weren't true, then the same things would make everybody happy, and they don't. Everybody would be eating the same foods, and seeking to have a relationship with the same person, if it were true that things outside of ourselves made us happy, and I don't see that happening anywhere!

To follow the invited process and tell the truth now, tell the truth later, is the solution, not because it changes or fixes anything, but because to tell the real truth sets us up to win. Being human myself, it also seems as if it's not always so easy to do this, especially when we are swept up with our expectations and it looks like finally, finally, our hopes and dreams are going to come true, and it's all because of X, Y, or even Z. But that's the good news. It isn't Z, Y, or X, but it's us who determine how happy we are with anything, and with any moment, excluding none, and including ourselves. And that's good news too, because we are the one element of our lives that we have complete choice with. So now, what's your choice? Solid foundation to launch the rocket of your dreams from, by telling the truth now, telling the truth later, especially about the real source of our happiness, or some more of the same ol' hoping things outside of ourselves will be different so that then we can feel good? Your voice, your choice. You go!

Author's Bio: 

TB Wright is the coursework creator of The One Penny Millionaire!™ a thirty week online seminar designed for your success. www.onepennymillionaire.com

A short video on useful affirmation work can be seen here: