The New and Improved Perfect Mother

What’s your idea of the perfect mother? Is it the perfectly dressed, cookie baking, PTA president, and thriving career momma? Is it the mom with the bleary eyes carrying an infant while dealing with a tantrum in the cereal aisle? Or could it be the mom who leaves the dishes piled, the laundry unfolded and the kids in their pajamas and calls the sitter for a much needed break. Is it one of the above or all of the above?

No matter how many articles, books, or motivational talks are shared on the importance of mothers taking care of themselves and letting go of the idea of perfection, the media still sets the rules of a good mother at oppressively unattainable heights. We are constantly bombarded with the one perfect snapshot of motherhood. Believing this is what motherhood should be, moms mask the reality of day to day life of raising children.
Let’s take off the mask and create a new set of perfect mother rules.

1. Perfect mothers have an entire repertoire of effective escape routes. Regardless if she is parenting infants, toddlers, school aged children or teenagers, a perfect mother creatively escapes on a daily basis.

2. Perfect mothers don’t devour every parenting book, because they trust their innate ability to be the expert for their own children. When the perfect mother is looking for advice, she naturally finds resources that are in sync with her own unique parenting style.

3. Perfect mothers neither judge or compare themselves to other mothers. The perfect mother encourages and supports other mothers with compliments, knowing smiles and practical help.

4. Perfect mothers remind themselves constantly of their own fabulous mothering in affirmations, great mommy moments journals, and celebrating with other great moms the things they do well. Perfect mothers aren’t ashamed to celebrate their unique strengths.

5. Perfect mothers say no to anything and everything that doesn’t inspire them. Perfect mothers have children who sometimes compete in sports with no parental cheering section. The perfect mother knows that her not being there develops her child’s internal cheering section. The perfect mother has said no so many times to volunteer activities, she is no longer hounded. The perfect mom volunteers in accordance to her passions not her guilt.

6. Perfect mothers spend more time doing things WITH their children and less time doing things FOR their children. Children of perfect mothers sometimes have to live with the consequences of forgetting their instrument, homework or permission slip. It usually only happens once. Perfect mothers have more time to play with their children because household tasks are shared.

7. Perfect mothers have passions and hobbies and a wealth of intelligence that grows as they mother. At times perfect mothers put their own passions before the desires of their children.

8. Perfect mothers feel no guilt or shame in admitting to themselves and others that sometimes motherhood is neither fun or rewarding, and sometimes they don’t particularly like their own children.

9. Even so, perfect mothers look directly into their children’s eyes and smile each and every day.

10. Perfect mothers are all of us; on our perfect snapshot days, our crazy nerve shot days and all the days in the middle.